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Reading between the lines Is Iraq Ready to Play Ball?By Rick Horowitz
It's just a word -- that's what I keep telling myself. There've been so many words from so many mouths during this latest business with Iraq, it doesn't make sense to focus on only one of them. That's what I keep telling myself. But it's not just any word -- that's the thing. It's this particular word, this particular word at this particular time. So I'm wondering. You can't blame me for wondering. The word is "super." The man who said the word is the Iraqi foreign minister, a guy named Naji Sabri, and the day he said the word was Monday, just before the chief U.N. weapons inspectors delivered their progress report on Iraq's disarmament. The Iraqi government, Naji Sabri insisted, had provided cooperation to the weapons inspectors. And not just ordinary cooperation: "super cooperation." That's what he said. You can understand why it caught my attention, can't you? Not because it was anything close to accurate. (I think the proper diplomatic term is "crapola.") But because of his specific choice of words. "Super cooperation," Naji Sabri said on Monday. And wasn't there some sort of big American football game just the day before, on Sunday? You bet there was. And what was the name of that football game again? Exactly. Out of all the adjectives in all the dictionaries in all the world, Naji Sabri had to pick that one. So I'm wondering: Coincidence? Or something more? I'm wondering: What if Naji Sabri is trying to send us a signal? See, I've read my share of novels of intrigue, books filled with high-stakes international maneuvering, and in novels of intrigue, somebody's always trying to send somebody else a signal. Sometimes it's a window shade opened just a certain amount, or a flower pot sitting at a particular angle. Or some little kid's drawing that's really a map to the buried whatsis. Or a word. A word like "super." So I'm pretty much convinced it's a signal. I'm still a little fuzzy about what kind of signal. Is it a message of defiance? Did Naji Sabri notice, for instance, that for all their supposedly overwhelming offensive firepower, the Oakland Raiders couldn't overcome the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' crafty and determined defensive plan? Was Naji Sabri telling us that a U.S. invasion of Iraq will be lots harder than we think? I'm not sure that's the message, or even that a roster filled with aging superstars might not match up all that well against an up-and-coming young squad eager to be seen as a power in its own right -- although I can certainly see where he might want us to consider that possibility. Maybe it's more of a cultural statement. Maybe Naji Sabri wasn't referring to the game itself as much as he was to all the stuff connected to the game. For instance? The commercials. I'm assuming Naji Sabri was just like the rest of us -- he might have gone for snacks during the football action, but he was glued to the tube during the ads. In which case, he got a nice long look at life here in the U.S.A. (Not necessarily an accurate look, but certainly a long one.) For instance? Naji Sabri may be totally psyched out by the state of our biological and genetic research. Where else but the United States, he's probably wondering, can Clydesdales play football while zebras handle the instant replay? Where else can baboons use catapults to cool off in polar-bear pools, and dogs open fire hydrants to refresh their humans? Or he may be thinking that for all our bluster, we're in such terrible economic shape that American women can't even afford to buy clothes -- all they've got left are tiny scraps of underwear! (Not an unreasonable assumption under the circumstances.) Anyway, if I'm right about what he was watching, Naji Sabri has probably come to some conclusion about whether we're invincible or a pushover. Unless, of course, the ads got him so confused that he had to ignore them -- but then, why did he use the word "super" in the first place? I know he's trying to tell us something. Do you think they'll dump Saddam if they can hire Jon Gruden? Posted 1/28/03. Enjoy
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Rick Horowitz
