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The spin starts here? The White House, on GuardBy Rick Horowitz
Well, now we know his teeth were there. In Alabama, that is, back in January of 1973. The teeth of the future president of the United States, all present and accounted for. There's even a document that confirms it -- how reassuring! It's kind of like the Cheshire cat in reverse: first the smile, then the rest of him. Assuming, of course, they can account for the rest of him. So I ask you: Is this whole "Where in the World Was George Walker Bush?" thing starting to sound just a little bit bizarre? I mean, all these questions about whether Dubya actually did his National Guard service back during the Vietnam era, and if he did, did he do it in Texas, where he was living, or in Alabama, where he moved to work on a Senate campaign, and if he did do it in either Texas or Alabama, how come no one serving in either place during certain periods can remember ever laying eyes on the guy? On top of that, you've got the White House scrambling to hand out photocopies that show the young Bush being paid by the Guard during that time, which almost-but-not-quite proves that he was serving somewhere and not simply the lucky beneficiary of casual record-keeping. On top of that, you've got the White House press secretary in word-to-word combat with the White House press corps, insisting approximately 16 million times that Mr. Bush "fulfilled his duties" in the Guard, while declining to spell out even once what those "duties" actually involved, or precisely where or when he "fulfilled" them. Getting his cavities fulfilled doesn't do it. But it's all part of the plan. That's how I figure it, anyway: This entire dispute is all part of some devilishly clever White House plan. After all, they're the smartest, smoothest, toughest White House political operation anyone has seen in years. So there's no way they get themselves tangled up in a fight like this unless they want to be. You say, "Huh?" I say, "Duh!" Think about it: Until the past ten days or so, what had been the country's biggest political story? Exactly -- the Democrats. Their caucuses. Their primaries. Who's up? Who's down? Who's in? Who's out? And as his wins accumulated, the biggest part of the biggest story was one particular Democrat: John Kerry. Back from the dead, then the surprise frontrunner, then the Man with the Mo, then the all-but-certain nominee. And every few days, John Kerry claiming victory. John Kerry waving to his supporters. John Kerry delivering his message. John Kerry grabbing the spotlight. If you're the White House, a little of that goes a long way. If people keep hearing from John Kerry, and about John Kerry, all the time, he might start to grow on people. Some voters in key states might even start thinking he'd do a better job of being president than the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania. If you're the White House, you have to put a stop to it. True -- the Bush campaign is sitting on mountains of money. They could start running those ads of theirs earlier than they planned, and take back the spotlight that way. (Or to put it more accurately, turn a different kind of spotlight on Kerry.) But why spend all that money prematurely if they don't have to, if there's some other way to capture everyone's attention? So how about a little mystery? The press loves to solve mysteries -- especially something with just a scent of scandal or a hint of hypocrisy. And why make it a one-day story -- admit what you'll have to admit and put it all behind you -- when you can stretch it out: a document here, a document there, a promise here, a retracted promise there. First it's something about his teeth being where they were supposed to be. After that, maybe it'll be a haircut receipt, or a podiatrist's appointment book, or a vintage Alabama belt buckle. It's must-see GOP -- and it has to be part of the plan. Doesn't it? Posted 2/12/04. Make
"Rick's" part of your plan -- and tell your friends!
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Rick Horowitz
