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Simple? Who's simple? Call It a Grass-Roots MovementBy Rick Horowitz
Plenty of ooh-ing and aah-ing from the lab-coat set, and can you blame them? It's not every day you crack the code for the Book of Life. There they were, two rival groups of researchers sharing the spotlight and the backslaps for sequencing the three billion-odd units of DNA that make up the human genome, which is merely the instruction manual for Mankind as We Know It. And if there were some major surprises, even some good reasons for humility, in their findings, there were plenty of reasons for smiles, too. They were pleased with themselves, these brainy humans, and they deserved to be pleased. The worms, on the other hand... "Did you hear? Did you hear?" The word traveled quickly through the underground. Worms aren't known for speed, but for something this important, they outdid themselves. Within hours, it had moved from whisper to rumor, from rumor to fact. In no time at all, it was the lead story on "Worm News Tonight": "Human beings may have only 30,000 genes, their researchers now say, not the 100,000 their textbooks have been estimating for years..." There wasn't a worm watching anywhere in the Holey Land who didn't grasp the significance. But the anchorworm was leaving nothing to chance. "Roundworms, as is well known, have nearly 20,000 genes themselves. While startled by the comparatively small differences in these numbers, the human researchers were quick to suggest that human genes must be far more complex than those of their so-called 'lower-order' counterparts." The words that caught every worm's attention were "so-called." Nobody could recall ever hearing a news report with that kind of attitude before. Then again, nobody could recall ever hearing this kind of stunning news before. For as long as worms and humans had shared the planet, humans were in charge, and worms were...underfoot. It was just the way things were. And the attitude! Look up "worm" in a human dictionary, and what was one of the definitions? "An abject, wretched, or contemptible person." There was no respect, no respect at all. "We've got the firepower!" the humans would gloat (when they even deigned to speak to a worm.) "We've got five times the genes you have!" And the worms accepted it -- what choice did they have? But this latest news could change everything. If humans didn't have even twice the genes that roundworms had, then why should... The first lawn signs started popping up: "We're Not Fish Bait!" "The Worm Turns!" Then came the rallies, huge and wiggly with excitement. Let the fruit flies, with their nearly 14,000 genes, be satisfied simply to be mentioned in the same breath as humans; the worms wanted more. Their fair share -- that's what they wanted. A cut of the action, and the same kinds of opportunities that humans had enjoyed for so long. "You think we can't produce our own Michelangelo?" shouted the charismatic head of Worms United as thousands cheered him on. "You think we can't design our own dot-coms? You think we can't run the XFL?!" "XFL! XFL!" "We have to take our message directly to the humans! We have to confront them in their places of power and demand that they take us seriously!!" At the time, a sit-in in the United Nations driveway seemed like a wonderful idea. If only they'd remembered to get a permit. Posted 2/13/01. Rick
takes everything seriously -- but sometimes he forgets.
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Rick Horowitz