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The Great Wall of Salesmen Did You Hear the One About the Kung Pao Chicken?By Rick Horowitz It's the kind of opportunity that doesn't come along every day, you know. You write for a living, you're always looking for a chance to spread the word, to expand your audience. Normally, it's an incremental thing. This isn't "normally." This is different, and it's sitting right here on my computer screen. "CHINA'S DOOR IS OPEN TO YOU!" I've never had China's door open to me. I read on. "While browsing the World Wide Web, we identified your Company as one that could benefit financially from a presence on the international business front -- in particularly -- China! "As one of the fastest growing global economic powers, China holds unlimited market potential for your goods/services, and is the source for cost effective manufacturing." Excited? Who wouldn't be excited? They've got a billion-some people in China, don't they? A billion-some possible new customers for my goods/services? And now, through the miracle of precision Web targeting, this amazing offer appears, absolutely unsolicited, right before my highly entrepreneurial eyes? But wait -- there's more! "The challenges of exploring this great opportunity may seem overwhelming but pales in comparison to the potential benefits and $$$$ that can be reaped." They're reading my mind! I'm already toting up the potential benefits (not to mention the $$$$) of selling American humor to a billion-plus satire-starved Chinese, and I'm ready to reap at the drop of a dumpling -- but how do I get started? I'm new at this. Not to worry. "The GROUP OF Chinese Industry will help you unravel the mysteries of establishing a business presence in the Far East. Our experienced commerce consultants and our established Chinese government & business contacts have assisted many US companies and will help you to: 1) Explore and identify new Chinese markets for your products. 2) Identify reliable suppliers of high quality, competitively priced goods... 3) Identify manufacturers to produce your products... 4) Consultation on executing a business plan to thrive in the Chinese market. 5) Serve as your foreign liaison to your Chinese business partners by breaking down cultural, language and bureaucratic barriers!" They've thought of everything. I especially like No. 3; the one thing I was most worried about, in fact, was how expensive it could be to ship my best bits all the way to China after I write them here in the States. But if I'm reading this offer correctly, The GROUP OF Chinese Industry has it covered. They'll not only help me find readers over there, but they'll even come up with on-site production facilities for me -- I can outsource my punch lines! And No. 5 will be pretty useful, too. I mean, the last thing I want is to get my stuff hung up on cultural or language barriers. ("So, what is all this latest news about the President and his secretly romantic former underling?") Even a little speed bump can be a problem when you're turning out finely tuned goods/services like mine. Of course, even with those barriers gone, it may take The GROUP a little while to gear up to help me do my particular kind of work. "The following are the some products available now: 1) Auto parts: Starter solenoids, LUG NUT, LUG NUT COVER, CHROME PLATED ACCESSORIES. 2) Winches and pulley." That's the whole list. Don't get me wrong -- they're useful products, most of them. You can't write a column unless you can get it started, can you? So those solenoids could be a real plus. And every now and again, you might want to take on some really heavy topic; it wouldn't hurt to have a few winches and pulleys around, just in case. I won't kid you: I'll feel even more confident about my Chinese future once they've expanded their product line a bit. In the meantime, though, I'm perfectly willing to be flexible, to tailor my material to mesh with their strong points.("Take my lug nuts -- please!") After all, we're talking major career move here, one giant leap for me. And $$$$. Posted
2/19/99. Spread the word!
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