Nader for President?

Unwise at Any Speed

By Rick Horowitz

WASHINGTON, A Minute from Now -- The Bush-Cheney-Nader re-election machine kicked into high gear on Sunday morning with a rousing television appearance by longtime activist Ralph Nader himself.

Appearing on NBC's "Meet the Press," Nader revealed that he would run for president again this year, confounding those who had expected him to pass up the opportunity, and those who worried that his candidacy might draw votes away from the Democratic nominee and possibly tip the election to George W. Bush, as many believe happened four years ago.

By contrast, word of Nader's decision quickly generated excitement among his many supporters at the White House and the Republican National Committee. Committee staffers reportedly exchanged "high fives" on hearing the news, while top campaign officials were said to have popped the corks on several bottles of Champagne.

In his appearance on NBC, Nader said he had reached his decision to run "after careful thought and my desire to retire our supremely elected president." The latter phrase was apparently a reference to the U.S. Supreme Court's role in deciding the winner of the 2000 election, while the remainder of the sentence apparently referred to an alternate universe not governed by standard rules of mathematics or logic. Indeed, reporters with several news organizations had to be treated for minor brain explosions after trying to make sense of Nader's reasoning.

Reaction from professional politicians was, as expected, mixed.

"Ralph Nader has always been a hero of mine," said Republican National Committee chairman Ed Gillespie. "He's a man of enormous influence, and I know he'll want to use that influence where it will do the most good -- in Florida, for instance, not to mention Iowa and New Hampshire and New Mexico and Wisconsin."

Gillespie seemed to be naming states which had been battlegrounds in the last presidential election and are likely to be closely contested again in November. In those states and others, Gillespie said, he expected the Nader campaign to offer "a distraction in every pot."

"For instance," Gillespie explained, "he says he wants the president impeached for the war against Iraq. Now, while I don't happen to hold that opinion myself, I suspect there are plenty of voters who agree wholeheartedly with that position and are looking for someone to vote for who's not afraid to say whatever's on his mind. For people like that, Ralph Nader could be just the ticket."

Concluded Gillespie, "We couldn't be happier if we had designed his campaign ads ourselves."

A slightly more restrained reaction came from White House political guru Karl Rove, who earlier in the year reportedly had been hoping for Howard Dean to capture the Democratic nomination. With Dean now out of the race, Rove seemed willing to transfer his loyalties to Nader.

"Voters in a free society deserve as many choices as possible," said Rove. "And by 'voters,' of course I mean Democrat voters. They're the party out of power -- why should they be limited to a single candidate when they could just as easily have two?"

Rove also credited Nader with having had a positive impact on both major parties.

"His long battle against unethical business practices, for example, has helped us forge the president's own policy on corporate ethics," said Rove. "And believe me, it's one of the best forgeries you've ever seen."

For their part, Democratic Party officials attempted to convey mild concern, but nothing more than that, at Nader's sudden entry into the race. Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe said that despite their occasional differences on both issues and tactics, he still "respects all this man has done for his country."

To show the extent of that respect "at the earliest opportunity," McAuliffe said, he and his fellow Democrats hope to throw Nader a testimonial dinner, where he will be given a Certificate of Appreciation and a vintage Chevy Corvair.

Posted 2/23/04. Stay on top of the news with Rick's award-winning commentary!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker

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