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Don't Touch That Dial!By Rick Horowitz It's the top of the hour -- here's what's topping the news: Back from his fence-mending tour of Europe, President Bush is on the road again today, this time here at home -- he's trying to shore up support for his plan to overhaul the Social Security system. The president reacted strongly to talk of putting off congressional action on the plan until 2006, saying he was dead set against any delay. Democratic leaders said that they were dead set against Tom DeLay. Meanwhile, Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan told Congress that any changes in Social Security should be made sooner rather than later, but should be phased in slowly. The president's allies seized on Greenspan's comments as supporting their position -- but so did the president's opponents. Said Mr. Greenspan of the confusion, "Mission accomplished." Beyond Capitol Hill, some of the president's most aggressive supporters have launched yet another new salvo against the AARP, which is leading the fight against Mr. Bush's Social Security plans. Having already claimed that the AARP is anti-military and pro-gay marriage, former advisers to the so-called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have now come up with old newsreel footage showing AARP members throwing away their dentures. Congressional Republicans are scurrying to deal with reports of a so-called "millionaire's loophole" in bankruptcy-reform legislation now being debated by the Senate. The loophole would allow wealthy people who file for bankruptcy to keep substantial assets away from their creditors. Questioned about the oversight by reporters, aides to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist declined to comment until they stopped giggling. Despite recent polls showing her leading the pack for the next Democratic presidential nomination, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton insisted again today that she hasn't yet made a decision to run for the White House in 2008. Ms. Clinton also said she hasn't yet made decisions to breathe, blink or swallow. Vowing that his party's candidates would compete for votes in all regions of the country, new DNC chairman Howard Dean today unveiled the Democrats' new battle cry for campaigns in southern states: "Yeeeaaaaaaaall?" Another unfortunate milestone: The death toll of Americans in Iraq has now reached the 1,500 mark. In his daily briefing for reporters today, White House press secretary Scott McClellan tried to put the best face on that sobering statistic. Said McClellan, "Thank goodness we're not still having major combat operations!" Dismissing criticism that her diplomatic wardrobe is something less than diplomatic, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said today that she would continue to wear knee-high leather boots with stiletto heels whenever she felt like it. Explained Ms. Rice, "These boots are made for walking. That's just what they'll do. One of these days, these boots are going to walk all over you." Elsewhere on the fashion front, things are looking up for Martha Stewart. Fresh from five months out of the public eye, the domestic diva today unveiled her latest line of designer bedding, and declared that the new must-have housewares trend is Colonial. Penal Colonial. Speaking of corporate scandals: Former WorldCom CEO Bernard Ebbers claimed again today that he had no idea that the telecom giant he once headed had concealed billions of dollars of expenses in an apparent effort to inflate the company's earnings reports. Ebbers also explained that he was not a detail-oriented person, was terrible at math, and couldn't imagine why he'd ever been allowed to run such a large corporation. Said Ebbers, "Is this a great country, or what?" Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia issued another stinging dissent this morning. The court was not actually in session at the time -- Scalia said he was just keeping in practice. And this just in: Saying that the era of celebrity obsession is over, cable television executives have announced that they'll voluntarily limit coverage of the Michael Jackson trial to 23 hours per day -- unless "something important" happens. That's the news for now. When there's more, we'll tell you. Posted 3/4/05. Keep
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Rick Horowitz
