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Word games One Nation, BushwhackedBy Rick Horowitz I'd like to tell you that President Bush's budget plan is the greatest thing to hit these shores since the four-slice toaster. I'd like to tell you that the budget and its centerpiece -- the $1.6 trillion tax cut -- have set the nation on the proper course for decades to come, that they provide the perfect mix of government activism and individual initiative, and that they accomplish these worthy goals with fairness, compassion and a healthy regard for the bottom line. I'd like to tell you all these things, and I will -- just as soon as the doctors finish my lobotomy. In the meantime... In the meantime, I can gaze in total wonder -- and so can you -- at the waves of linguistic lunchmeat the president and his merry minions have deployed in support of this scheme. We're only days into the battle, and already the rhetoric ranges from the stunningly obvious to the highly suspect, with occasional forays into the merely-diverting-but-irrelevant. F'rinstance? F'rinstance: "It's the people's money!" These particular words, shouted time and again from every GOPodium in the land, are delivered as if they were some newly discovered law of gravity. "It's the people's money!" -- and therefore, presumably, the people should get it back. Exactly $1.6 trillion of it. (More or less.) Well, of course it's the people's money! And so is the money that goes to build battleships and inspect chickens and keep airplanes from bumping into each other at 33,000 feet. Disaster relief, more teachers in the classroom, more cops on the street -- that's "the people's money," too. And "the people" seem to think it's a good investment. You'd never know it from all the fussing and fuming from the right side of the room, but the same "people" who like the idea of government tax cuts love the reality of government programs. Whether it's expertise, or economies of scale, or simply "I'd rather pay someone to take my garbage to the dump, thank you very much," "the people" seem to understand that "the government" -- federal, state, local -- can actually do certain things more effectively than they can do them for themselves. If the president and his people want to argue that this or that program doesn't work, or isn't necessary, or can be done better elsewhere, or that there are higher priorities that need attention, fine; make the argument. But pointing out that the people's government is funded by the people's money -- so what else is new? Another f'rinstance: "We need this tax cut because the economy is going bad." This one makes me giggle; I can't help it. That's because for months and months on the campaign trail, this very same $1.6 trillion tax cut was being pushed by George Bush for precisely the opposite reason: because the economy was going so well! Kind of the flip side of that old joke about the miracle of the Thermos bottle. You put hot liquids in it, it keeps them hot, you put cold liquids in it, it keeps them cold -- how does it know? In Bush's case, you put a hot economy in it, it comes out tax cut. You put a cold economy in it, it comes out tax cut. Makes you wonder. But at least he doesn't have to memorize too much new material for his stump speech. And one more f'rinstance, one of my all-time favorites: "The Democrats are engaging in class warfare!" This one's been around at least since the days of Ronald Reagan. Apparently it's perfectly OK for the wealthiest folks to belly up to the feeding trough and grab the biggest share of the grub. What's wrong is mentioning it in public. Mentioning it in public, you see, is "engaging in class warfare." It's "pitting the rich against the poor." Republicans hate "pitting the rich against the poor." Much better if the poor don't notice. Posted 3/6/01. Rick
is engaging in laugh warfare. You can volunteer for service right here
twice a week!
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Rick Horowitz
