Clinton off the mat

Suddenly, It's Crowded at the Top

By Rick Horowitz

Rrrriiinnng! Rrrriii --

"Good morning! Ritz-Carlton Denver -- may I help you?"

"Uh, yes, good morning. Reservations, please."

"I can help you with that, sir."

"Excellent! I'm calling to reconfirm a reservation? We made it a few weeks ago -- for the last week in August?"

"Well, actually, sir, all our rooms are blocked for that entire week. That's when the Democrats are having their convention."

"I know that. I'm one of those Democrats."

"Of course! My apologies, sir. And if I could have your name?"

"Obama. Barack O -- "

"Really? You're really Barack Obama?"

"It's true."

"Well, it'll -- it'll be an honor to have you here, sir. I'm a really big fan of yours. I know we're not supposed to say that, but -- "

"That's very kind of you."

"You're welcome! I mean 'Thank you!' I mean -- "

"If you could check on that reservation?"

"Oh, absolutely! And the dates again?"

"Let's see -- the convention starts on Monday the 25th, so we booked it starting Saturday the 23rd. And we leave on Friday, the..."

"The 29th."

"Exactly. The Presidential Suite. Six nights."

"Let me call that up on the computer. It won't take a -- oh."

"Computer down?"

"No, no -- it's working. It's just that -- well, there must be some mistake. We've got it double-booked."

"Do you want our confirmation number? I can give you our confirmation number."

"No, I believe you, Mr. Obama. And I've got your record right here -- it's all set. But then there's -- it's like an override or something."

"An override?"

"Well, it's also been booked in the name of 'Clinton.'"

"What?!"

"Just a couple of days ago. Same suite, same dates -- 'Clinton.' I don't -- it must be some computer glitch or something. Normally it won't let us book two different groups into the -- "

"Normally."

"I've never seen this before. Let me try to erase it -- see what happens."

"I'm sorry to put you through all this trouble."

"No trouble at all! It's just really weird, that's all. Gimme a sec, I'm sure I'll be able to -- nope."

"Nope?"

"It's still there. 'Clinton.' I keep trying to get rid of it, and it won't move."

"I know what you mean."

"I've never seen anything like it! It looks like you can delete it, but it doesn't go away."

"Exactly."

"This is so weird!"

"Take your time. I'm sure we can straighten it out."

"Does it have to be the Presidential Suite? There are lots of other very nice -- "

"Thanks, but that's the one we booked -- the Presidential Suite. We're really looking forward to staying there."

"I understand. I don't get -- it's almost like somebody hacked into the computer or something."

"I wouldn't put it past them."

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind. Any luck?"

"It's frozen. I can't -- I know this is crazy, but you guys wouldn't be interested in sharing, would you?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's a really big suite -- there's probably enough room for both of you. For all of you, I mean."

"I don't -- "

"Of course, you'd have to decide who gets the master bedroom and things."

"I don't think so."

"Or maybe you could alternate?"

"I need to talk to your manager."

Posted 3/6/08. For award-winning commentary, click to “Rick’s” -- and tell the neighbors!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

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