 |
Never a doubt Nothing Surprises Them. (That's Why They're Experts.)By Rick Horowitz Click. " -- McCain has filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission, which is expected to issue a ruling by the year 2009. Now for more insight on Super Tuesday and the Democrats, let's send you back to Paul." "Thanks, Chuck. And it certainly was a race with its share of ups and downs, wasn't it? Here to discuss it all with us this morning, Professor Eaton Crowe from the Institute of Applied Punditry here in Washington. Welcome back, Professor -- good to see you again." "Thanks for having me." "Now, Professor, as we've just heard, it's pretty much a done deal on the Democratic side -- Al Gore is going to be the Democratic nominee." "I never had a doubt." "Well, it's interesting to hear you say that, Professor, because as you know, lots of your fellow pundits were predicting a much different result just a few months ago. They insisted that Gore was on the ropes, and -- " "Some other pundits, perhaps. Personally, I always knew that Gore would beat Bradley, and beat him easily." "Well, that's interesting, too, Professor, because we've had our crack research team going back over the news clippings and videotapes from earlier in the campaign. You're quite a quotable fellow, you know." "Paul, any time I can spread my knowledge to the public, I'm more than happy to do so." "Absolutely! And don't think we don't appreciate the many times you've spread it right here for us. It's just that, looking through all those clips and such, we found you making some pretty interesting comments. For instance, back last fall, you were saying, and I quote, 'Al Gore has handled his vice presidential duties with a certain competence. But as a candidate for president in his own right, Gore is going nowhere.' Kind of missed the boat on that one, didn't you?" "Not at all, Paul. He was the frontrunner at the start of the nomination fight, and he's the frontrunner at the end of it. So he really didn't go anywhere, did he? Except, of course, to move his campaign down to Nashville, which I also predicted." "You did? We must have missed -- " "Check the tapes. If I said it once, I said it a dozen times: 'Gore's going south.'" "By which you meant..." "He's moving his operation to Nashville, obviously -- what else could I have meant?" "I see. Well, let me ask you this: When you said right here a couple of months back that 'If Gore wants this nomination, he'll have to cut all his ties to traditional Democratic power bases' -- well, he did just the opposite, didn't he?" "I'm afraid you misunderstood me. What I said was, 'He'll have to cut all his ties.'" "And?" "Do you see him wearing ties anymore? It's been knit shirts and khakis, just like I suggested, and look how well it's worked for him. In fact, that whole 'alpha male' thing turned out exactly the way I said it would." "You thought that was a good idea? Didn't you call the woman who was telling Gore to be more aggressive and to switch to earth tones and such -- didn't you call her 'an embarrassment to the political process'?" "'An embarrassment of riches' -- I'm sure I said 'an embarrassment of riches.'" "If you say so. Then tell me this: If you were always so sure that Gore was in such great shape, why did you keep saying all through October and November and December and even into January, 'Bradley's got Big Mo on his side'?" "Mo Beasley -- he's my gardener. Nice guy, but he doesn't know the first thing about politics. Now, if you need someone to kill your crabgrass -- " Click. Posted 3/7/00. For
Super Commentary on Super Tuesday or any day, drop in on "Rick's"!
|
  |
Rick Horowitz