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Party games Where Do They Stand? Well, Where Do They Sit?By Rick Horowitz
Senator Goose and Senator Gander are fine public servants and principled men. But Senator Goose and Senator Gander remodel their principles now and again. Why, just the other day, for instance -- Senator Goose was in an absolute purple funk over one of his favorite principles: "Politics stops at the water's edge." The war against the terrorists was getting more dangerous every day, while all over Washington, there was talk about expanding the war to other countries. Senator Goose was all for doing whatever the president wanted; the president is our commander in chief. But Senator Gander had some questions. Senator Gander wanted to know just where the war might be going next, and how we were going to fight it, and how many troops we'd need, and how we'd know when we had won, and how we'd get out. While he was at it, Senator Gander wondered whether we could ever say we had won the war against the terrorists unless we had killed or captured the biggest terrorist of them all. "How dare he!" cried Senator Goose. "How dare Senator Gander question what our president is doing while our troops are in the field and our brave boys are risking their lives!" This is no time for criticism! This is no time for skepticism! This is a time to rally 'round the flag, and rally 'round the president and -- But... But wasn't it Senator Goose who had criticized the president's actions in the Persian Gulf? Wasn't it Senator Goose who had told the president he needed to clarify his strategy during the war in Kosovo? Why didn't politics stop at the water's edge back then? Perhaps it should have, Senator Goose says now. Perhaps -- in hindsight, of course -- he should have held his tongue. He sees things differently now. So does Senator Gander. Of course, that was a different time. And a different president. From a different party. Or take this principle: "The president is entitled to get his nominees approved." Senator Goose is all for approving the president's nominees to this or that court, and he gets perfectly piqued when Senator Gander and his friends delay consideration of some of them. "How dare they!" cries Senator Goose. "How dare Senator Gander and his friends block these fine, upstanding citizens!" This is no time to play politics with the federal judiciary! This is a time to -- But... But wasn't it Senator Goose and his friends who had blocked some of the president's nominees from coming to a vote for months, even years? Why wasn't the president entitled to get his nominees approved without delay back then? There's nothing to be gained by rehashing the past, says Senator Goose. He sees things differently now. So does Senator Gander. That was a different time. And a different president. From a different party. And then there's this principle: "The White House can't do its job if Congress is constantly looking for scandals." Senator Goose feels very deeply about this; he just hates it when Senator Gander's colleagues keep sniffing around the administration for the scent of corruption. "How dare they!" cries Senator Goose. "How dare Senator Gander's colleagues treat the president and his people with such constant suspicion!" It's "gotcha" government at its worst, and besides -- But... But wasn't it Senator Goose and his colleagues who had spent the better part of eight years looking into every White House nook and cranny? Turning over every rock in the Rose Garden? Why didn't Congress call off the bloodhounds back then? That was then, says Senator Goose. This is now. He sees things differently now. So does Senator Gander. That was a different time. And a different president. From a different party. It makes all the difference. Isn't it nice to have principles? Posted 3/7/02. Rick
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Rick Horowitz
