Bend it like Gonzales

School for Scandal

By Rick Horowitz

* Tired of slogging it out day after day in that dead-end job?
* Wondering why your "ladder of success" has banana peels on every rung?
* Looking for a way to put your career on the fast track?

You could be a perfect candidate for the Gonzales Leadership Academy!

Yes, the Gonzales Leadership Academy is looking for qualified applicants -- determined individuals just like you. Men and women who've had it with the "same old same old," and are ready to make something of themselves. To live their dreams as a high-level government official.

Excited? Wait -- there's more!

The Gonzales Leadership Academy isn't some "pie in the sky" operation selling cotton-candy solutions that just melt away the moment they meet the real world. No -- the Gonzales Leadership Academy is all about practical approaches. About Success Strategies that really work!

You'd expect no less from an institution built on the inspiring example of Alberto Gonzales, who rose from humble beginnings to become a household word and a confidant of presidents. Alberto Gonzales' meteoric career proves that good things can happen to good people -- if they're prepared to take advantage of their opportunities.

And our easy-to-follow lessons - personally designed and approved by Alberto Gonzales himself -- will give you all the skills and confidence you need to take advantage of yours.

* Learn how to Hitch Your Wagon to a Rising Star (or a Flying Bush.)
* Discover the Ten Super Suck-Up Techniques that never fail.
* Harness the power of those Four Magic Words: "Anything you say, boss!"

But that's not all! At the Gonzales Leadership Academy, you'll find out not only how to get that first big job, but how to rapidly advance to even bigger and more important positions. Whether you have your eye on a fulfilling career in local, state or even federal government, there's no limit to the heights you can reach. All it takes is the right techniques. The Gonzales techniques. Isn't it time you put them to work for you?

* Turning your smile into your suit of armor.
* Making "selective memory" your new best friend.
* How not to know what your Chief of Staff knows.
* The difference between "incomplete information" and "outright deception." (Hint: It's less than you think!)

And consider this: Every career path -- even the successful ones -- has its share of potholes. The Gonzales Leadership Academy will prepare you to handle them and keep right on going! Let others fall by the wayside, you'll be ready.

When it comes time to use pronoun-free sentences to duck responsibility, when embarrassing e-mails seem to contradict everything you've been saying, when your credibility suddenly takes blow after blow, when even supporters start to turn away -- you'll count your blessings that you're a Gonzales Leadership Academy graduate!

A road map to the top, and a helping hand when you need it the most. No other program can make that promise, or offer our money-back guarantee. (Note: Some restrictions apply.)

So what are you waiting for? It's time to change your life. It's time to say "Yes!" to success the Alberto Gonzales way!

Now more than ever, it's time for the Gonzales Leadership Academy.

Choices are made.

Posted 3/15/07. You won't be making a mistake when you click to "Rick's"!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

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©2007 Rick Horowitz. All rights reserved.