 |
News with a difference Headlines and DreadlinesBy Rick Horowitz It's the top of the hour -- have we got news for you! The war of words between the White House and the gun lobby escalated even further today, as NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre accused President Clinton of "starting World War II to promote his own personal political agenda." Reminded that Clinton wasn't born until a year after World War II ended, LaPierre replied, "And he's also a big poopy-head." Meanwhile, Mr. Clinton's own vice president has joined the battle over new gun-control measures being considered by Congress. In an effort to woo female voters, who rate gun safety as a leading issue in this year's presidential campaign, Al Gore appeared this morning at a suburban Maryland shopping mall dressed as a mandatory trigger lock. Mr. Gore's opponent in November, Texas governor George W. Bush, says he isn't conceding anything to vanquished Republican rival John McCain. Asked by reporters if he was willing to modify his positions on tax cuts or campaign-finance reform to win the backing of the Arizona senator's many supporters, Mr. Bush responded, "I bought this nomination fair and square!" Aides to the governor insisted that he was only "kidding." The latest polls suggest that Mr. Gore's repeated attacks on the "huge deficits of the Bush-Quayle years" have already had an impact on voters. Twenty-two percent of those surveyed now believe that Dan Quayle is actually on the current Republican ticket -- including Dan Quayle, who said it was "about time we put that winning team back together." Aides to the former vice president shrugged their shoulders. On Wall Street this morning, the Dow Jones average is down 325 points in early trading on news that Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan stubbed his toe getting out of bed. The Nasdaq index is up 240 points on rumors that Greenspan had cloned his toe before he stubbed it. The Disney Corporation announced today that its Florida and California theme parks will soon have a new thrill ride inspired by the overall trend in the nation's financial markets: It's "Money Mountain," a roller coaster that only goes up! And how will riders ever get off the thing? "We're still working on that," says a Disney spokesman. Speaking of things that keep going up: Higher gas prices may force many vacationers to cut back on their travel plans this summer, though Energy Secretary Bill Richardson is urging America's families to look on the bright side. Says Richardson, "Most of the country isn't worth visiting." Maybe they'll want to stay home instead with a good book -- like Stephen King's new mini-novel, "Riding the Bullet." King's online offering has spurred a regular "reading frenzy," and has spawned plenty of imitators, including an Arkansas man who hopes to sell 50,000 copies of a memoir recounting his days as a chicken wrangler. He'll call it -- what else? -- "Riding the Pullet." Back in Washington, the Smithsonian Institution revealed today that it hopes to put the entire set -- and the host -- of TV's hottest show on permanent display on the National Mall sometime next year, or even earlier if possible. Said a Smithsonian curator about the planned "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" exhibit, "The sooner we can get Regis Philbin stuffed and mounted, the better." And finally: America's not-quite-blushing bride, Darva Conger, is back in the news again. Kicking off her 19-day, 21-city "I'm So Sick of All This Publicity" tour, the "Multi-millionaire" wannabe now says that she'd be willing to pose for nude pictures -- but only if they were tastefully done. Asked her definition of "tasteful," Conger said, "You know, like everything else I've been doing." That's news. When there's more, we'll tell you. Posted 3/16/00. The
news is always happening at "Rick's." Get your fresh stuff right here
twice weekly!
|
  |
Rick Horowitz