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Worse and worse, better and better Message Massage for the Bad News Bears.By Rick Horowitz An average day in a big white house... "Morning, people! Everyone's here, let's get started. Dick?" "Good morning, Mr. President. I understand you want to keep talking about the economy this week -- that's the first thing on today's agenda." "Absolutely. It's important to keep talking about the economy. It's important to have a plan. To fix it. To..." "If I hear you right, Mr. President -- and I hope I'm not interrupting?" "Not at all, Dick." "Thank you, Mr. President. If I hear you right, what you're basically saying then is that several of the leading economic indicators continue their downward progression of the past two quarters, and that in response to the problems we inherited from the previous administration, the policies of this administration have been carefully designed to give the economy a second wind, with sustainable growth, low unemployment and minimal inflation in all key sectors. If I hear you right." "Loud and clear." "Excellent, Mr. President. Well said." "And stuttering." "Excuse me?" "The economy's stuttering. Isn't that what I'm supposed to say? The economy is stuttering toward a recession?" "Mr. President..." "Larry?" "With all due respect, sir, I think you mean 'sputtering.'" "Larry, if the president wanted to say 'sputtering,' I'm sure he'd have said 'sputtering.' Isn't that right, Mr. President? You're perfectly capable of saying 'sputtering' if you want to, aren't you? Just like you've been saying 'sputtering' for days now?" "Why don't we stick with 'sputtering'?" "'Sputtering' it is, Mr. President -- an excellent choice! And if Spence here can make a few more speeches about how we're looking at a full-blown energy crisis over the next few years..." "Way to go, A-rab! You're my man!" "...all the better. Although, Mr. President, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you could also manage to slip the word 'optimistic' into your comments for a while." "'Optimistic'? About an energy crisis and a recession? I don't under--" "You don't underestimate the power of positive thinking -- of course you don't! Which is why I'm sure you've already decided you don't want to go too far in talking down the economy -- once you've put the blame where it belongs, of course. You obviously realize that the markets are still pretty jittery, even after the Fed -- " "So I'm 'optimistic' about...about the underlying strength of the economy. The American people are hardworking people. Hardworking people is what makes the economy underlyingly strong. So I'm optimistic things are getting better, except for where they keep getting worse -- and that's not our fault." "Maybe we can fine-tune the phrasing just a bit, Mr. President, but I think you've pretty much got it nailed." "A no-brainer!" "Mr. President, I couldn't have said it better myself." Posted 3/20/01. Rick
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Rick Horowitz
