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Briefly speaking Meanwhile, on the Home Front...By Rick Horowitz
"Good evening. If you'll all take your seats, I have a few opening comments, and then I'll be happy to answer your questions. We've had another productive day today, as coalition forces continue to make solid progress toward achieving our goals. As you can see on this map here, our people were active along several fronts throughout the day, with particular success here in the western sector, and also here, coming up from the south. In addition -- " "Dear?" "In addition, we anticipate further advances in the next 24 to 48 hours, which we believe will put us in an excellent position to -- " "Dear?" "Yes, the woman down front." "Excuse me for interrupting, dear, but is this going to take long? Dinner's almost ready." "Well, ma'am, I'd have to say that a briefing takes as long as a briefing takes. I think the American people -- " "Mommy, he called you 'ma'am' again!" " -- the American people appreciate knowing what's being done in their name, and if we're able to convey that information to them in a timely and effective manner, then I think we're doing them a real service. If we could have the next visual..." "Dear?" "Why does he keep calling you 'ma'am'?" "It's OK, girls -- Daddy's been watching a lot of television lately. Dear?" "...I think you can see this rapid advance by the First SUV, driving north, and also by the Third Sedan, coming around in this flanking motion here and meeting up with the First SUV just beyond the four-way stop. From here, as you can tell, it's pretty smooth sailing the rest of the way in to the Kmart." "We were there, dear! You had us take the pictures! So why are you -- " "If we could have the next visual. Thanks. What you're looking at here is the central staging area -- " "Mommy, that's a parking lot..." " -- just prior to encountering some stiff opposition." "And that's a shopping cart!" "You'll notice we did take some hits, especially to the right rear of the CMS." "The CMS, dear?" "Ma'am, that would be the Crash Minimization System." "Do you mean the bumper?" "In layman's terms, yes, ma'am -- you could call it the bumper. The main point, though, is that this encounter, unexpected though it was, did not prevent, or even significantly delay, target acquisition. Our people were able to breach the perimeter of the Kmart and make our way directly into the facility itself, where we came upon regular forces, as well as a very nice assortment of slightly irregulars. Can we have the final visuals?" "Mommy, I'm hungry!" "I said, 'Can we have the final visuals?'" "Just do what he says, girls. When he gets like this..." "There they are. Thank you. We've got two shots of the First SUV's trunkage environment -- here, before our encounter with the checkout lanes, and here, after we've dropped a full load of cash on the target. I think the difference is pretty clear -- all in all, a very successful mission. Now, if I could say a few words about tomorrow's objectives..." "We'll be in the kitchen, dear." Posted 3/25/03. Click
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Rick Horowitz
