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Bye-bye, Tom DeLay!

One Congressman, from the State of Denial

By Rick Horowitz

" -- and we're back on 'Fox News Live.' Quite a bombshell still reverberating here in Washington, as former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay has announced that he will not run for re-election, and that he'll be resigning his seat in Congress in a matter of weeks. Here to explain his decision, exclusively on Fox in his first national TV interview, Tom DeLay. Good morning, Congressman."

"Good morning, John. See how I'm smiling?"

"It's quite a broad smile, Congressman. I take it, then, that you have no second thoughts about your decision to give up your seat."

"No second thoughts at all, John. I know the left and the liberal Democrats would like to say that they've made this happen, but it's entirely my own decision. I just felt my constituents deserved a campaign that wasn't focused just on me, with constant attacks."

"That kind of campaign really isn't your style, is it?"

"Not at all, John. My constituents are used to a campaign that's focused on someone else, with constant attacks."

"Still, it must have been a difficult decision, after all your years as one of the most powerful men in Washington."

"Not difficult at all, John. If it was difficult, I wouldn't be smiling. See how I'm smiling?"

"But aren't you -- "

"I can also do a hearty chuckle -- ha-ha-ha. See?"

"Very impressive, Congressman. Now, I know some people are wondering whether your decision to retire had anything to do with the Jack Abramoff scandal, which seems -- "

"Who?"

"I just meant that, with another of your former top deputies pleading guilty last week and promising to cooperate with the Abramoff investigation, help them follow the money trail -- well, was the heat just getting too much for you to handle?"

"I'm chuckling again, John -- ha-ha-ha."

"And still smiling, I see."

"Absolutely. The Abramoff affair has nothing to do with me -- that's nothing but some liberal Democrat fantasy they're spinning to try to cover up their own failures. Barbra Streisand."

"Excuse me?"

"Barbra Streisand. I think that says it all."

"I see. So, you don't consider this resignation decision any kind of a personal defeat."

"Not at all, John. It's never been about me -- it's been about fighting for the great Republican values of faith and family, and making sure that families benefit from our solid Republican principles, even my own family, no matter how the liberal Democrat lobby tries to smear my character, and even my wonderful wife."

"And your faith? I imagine it's really been tested by all that's happened over these past few months."

"Ha-ha-ha."

"You're chuckling again."

"John, that's because my faith is every bit as strong today as it was the day I got here."

"Truly?"

"On a stack of bibles."

"Never get down?"

"Never. And if I need a little boost, I just think about the prophets."

Posted 4/4//06. Stay on top of the headlines with Rick's award-winning commentary!


Send Rick a note!Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

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