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Bush wants action What? No Genie?By Rick Horowitz Once upon a time in the Land of Stars and Stripes, there lived a noble ruler named George the Younger, who bore his title proudly as the devoted son of George the Elder, who preceded him in the large white castle in the capital city (with a minor interruption by William the Unzipped, about whom nothing more need be said). Now, it happened in those days that the Land of Stars and Stripes was the greatest and most powerful nation in all the world, and that whoever ruled this nation was the greatest and most powerful ruler in all the world. Wherever such a man chose to turn his attention, there the world gazed as well. And though George the Younger had the strength to deal with any problem, he was only human, and could not deal with every problem. "I have bigger fish to fry," George the Younger would say when his advisers brought him word of yet another conflict. "They'll have to work it out themselves." For this was during the Time of Awful Deeds, and George the Younger would not be distracted from his life's central purpose: vanquishing the Awful Deed-Doers and those who assisted them. But did this stop other conflicts from occurring? That is not the way of the world, not in that time, nor in ours. So it happened in those days that there was great anger between the Land of Israel and the Land of Palestine, although the latter was not, technically speaking, a land at all, which was, diplomatically speaking, part of the problem. The Land of Israel and the Land of Palestine had been adversaries for years. Many had tried to make peace between them, and as many had failed. George the Younger was resolute: He would not add his name to that list. "I have bigger fish to fry," he would say, even as the fighting between the people of Israel and the people of Palestine grew ever bloodier. "They know what they need to do." Alas, what they knew best of all was how to fight even harder, for the leader of the Land of Israel and the leader of the Land of Palestine had been sworn enemies for as long as memory extended. Thus it was that every day brought new reports of death, and also destruction. Without someone from the Land of Stars and Stripes stepping between them, it seemed, there was no way to persuade the two warriors to behave more peaceably. All this brought George the Younger much turmoil, for he saw in this gruesome conflict his central purpose thwarted. He was determined to vanquish the Awful Deed-Doers and their collaborators. Yet as long as there was war between the people of Israel and the people of Palestine, he could expect no cooperation from those whose cooperation would be essential to him. Finally, when he could hold out no longer, he called his advisers together and told them of his decision. "I'll make a speech," he said. So it was that George the Younger went to the South Lawn of the large white castle and, with a firm voice and a steely visage, told the leader of the Israelis and the leader of the Palestinians exactly what he expected of each of them. He set forth his requirements with clarity and urgency, and so it came to pass in the ensuing days that the most miraculous thing happened: Nothing. The leader of the Israelis and the leader of the Palestinians went about their fighting and their killing as if George the Younger had never uttered a word! So he spoke out again, and then again, with the same firm voice and the same steely visage. "I meant what I said," he declared over and over, and even made vigorous gestures with his hands. He made phone calls. He dispatched emissaries. He was the ruler of the Land of Stars and Stripes, yet he might as well have been a grain of sand in the desert. They would heed him, he realized, when it suited their purposes, and only then. Enemies were enemies, and they had bigger fish to fry. They lived scrappily ever after. And that's no fairy tale. Posted 4/9/02. Get
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(You really should be telling your friends.)
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Rick Horowitz
