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Shades of meaning

There's a Word for This

By Rick Horowitz

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"...made entirely out of corn cobs, Kevin. It's not the most comfortable underwear, but it's certainly durable."

"You never know what they'll think of next, do you? Thanks for that report, Margie. And now Mike is standing by with a gentleman who's been very much in the news lately -- or at least his words have been. Mike?"

"Thanks, Kevin. We're here on the sixth floor of the State Department, and we're joined by the Deputy Under-Assistant Secretary for Nuance, Mr. Edwin Fitzhugh IV. Thanks so much for making time for us, Mr. Fitzhugh. I know these have been particularly hectic days for you."

"I wouldn't say 'hectic.'"

"You wouldn't?"

"I'd say 'busy.' Or perhaps even 'event-filled.' 'Hectic' suggests a certain level of distress or disorganization. I don't believe that's warranted in this case."

"And this 'case,' of course, is the current standoff between the United States and China over the fate of our spy plane -- "

"'Surveillance craft.'"

"Our 'surveillance craft' and its crew. May I call it a 'standoff'?"

"'Standoff' is fine, yes. Or 'impasse.' Either of those."

"I can't help noticing, Mr. Fitzhugh, that one entire wall of your office here is lined with dictionaries, and this other wall here with...thesauruses? Thesauri? With one thesaurus after another!"

"That's correct."

"I just want to get the terminology right -- I think we've all read about how important that can be in these kinds of situations. In fact, isn't that what this whole argument with China has boiled down to? Whether we can agree on the right words to describe what happened between those two planes and how we feel about it?"

"One could certainly say that."

"And would it be true?"

"One could say that, too. As you know, our people are fully engaged in discussions with the Chinese authorities to come up with phrasing that both sides will find acceptable."

"Now, haven't President Bush and Secretary Powell already expressed their 'regrets' over the incident? And didn't Secretary Powell even say we were 'sorry'? Not good enough for the Chinese?"

"They have indicated that our initial statements on the matter are insufficient, yes."

"And what they want is for us to formally 'apologize' for the incident, correct? To take full responsibility and all the blame?"

"Those have been among their reactions."

"And we're not going to do that, are we? Our officials have made clear they don't feel we have anything to 'apologize' for. So now you're looking for the magic words that will paper over these very different positions, and what's more, will do it in two languages. Quite a challenge!"

"I wouldn't say 'paper over.' I would say 'reconcile.' 'Harmonize,' perhaps, although that does suggest a certain congruence of viewpoints that might not be -- "

"But if they insist on an 'apology' and we're not about to offer one?"

"We're prepared to 'deplore.' We're prepared to 'lament.' In the context of a full and immediate resolution of this matter, we might even be willing to 'rue.'"

"To 'rue'?"

"In the context of a full and immediate resolution."

"Which means returning our plane and releasing all the hostages."

"They're not 'hostages.' They're 'detainees.'"

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Posted 4/10/01. You'll always find the right words at "Rick's." Get a fresh supply right here twice every week!


Send Rick a note!Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker

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