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Falling for freedom Tipping PointBy Rick Horowitz
WASHINGTON, Any Day Now -- Still relishing the overthrow of Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, President Bush asked Congress today to provide the Pentagon with emergency funding to help deploy -- and destroy -- statues of other foreign dictators. The president's request, for $5.3 billion in supplemental appropriations, will be formally sent to Capitol Hill by the end of next week, administration sources confirmed. "We saw what happened when they pulled down Saddam's statue in Baghdad," Mr. Bush said in a Rose Garden appearance this morning. "Why shouldn't we make it easier to pull down other statues, and get rid of other evil leaders?" The idea was the president's own, a senior White House official claimed, and was apparently the result of watching Iraqis celebrate the U.S.-led coalition's capture of central Baghdad. "The minute that statue came down," explained the official, "the president said, 'It's over.' And he was right; the fighting started dropping off almost immediately. Then we realized it wasn't the first time something like that had happened -- remember that Lenin statue coming down just before the Soviet Union collapsed? And it's happened in other places, too, so we knew he was on to something." A preliminary Defense Department analysis of the victory over Iraq reached similar conclusions -- namely, that the end of major Iraqi resistance seemed closely tied to the toppling of symbols of that once-entrenched regime. From there, officials said, came the decision to try to nudge the process along in a more aggressive fashion. While several dictatorial regimes already feature large numbers of statues paying tribute to current or former leaders, other regimes are so financially strapped that statuary proliferation is apparently beyond their reach. For its part, the White House will draw no distinctions among these various outlaw governments. When it comes to putting famous men on pedestals, the administration's new attitude appears to be, "The more, the merrier." "That DOD study just confirmed it for us," said the senior official. "You want to take down a bad guy or a bad regime, first you take down a bad guy's statue. And if you increase the number of statues, you increase the chance for somebody to take them down." The coalition's substantial advantage in military firepower was certainly a plus, softening up the Iraqi regime for the crucial blows, the official conceded. "But up to that point, we were simply hoping they'd collapse. Once that big statue in Baghdad went, we knew it." If approved by Congress, the new money would go toward creation of a special multi-service force informally dubbed "the Topplers." Their mission: to help create additional opportunities for decisive overthrows of stone and metal icons. Though details are yet to be worked out, the "Topplers" are expected to be active in all phases of statue design, placement and -- in conjunction with the Army's 3rd Mechanized Winch Corps -- demolition. Pentagon officials note that the United States currently has supplies of granite, marble, copper and bronze sufficient to meet all foreseeable sculpting and casting needs until at least the year 2032. And while they acknowledge that certain other countries have stronger reputations than does the United States for producing high-end statuary, they intend to create the statues domestically nonetheless. "They don't have to last forever, you know," said a Defense Department official familiar with the plan, "so who cares if they're not exactly top of the line? Besides, there are plenty of unemployed sculptors right here" -- not an insignificant consideration with a presidential election year fast approaching. In fact, according to Republican sculpting sources, sketches have already been requested for Syrian president Assad and North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, with delivery of the first scale models expected by mid-summer. Reports that President Bush has been collecting photos of French president Jacques Chirac were dismissed by the White House as "just a coincidence." Posted 4/10/03. Rick
doesn't want you to put him on a pedestal -- he just wants you to come
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Rick Horowitz
