Looking
for the hits you missed? Try
Recent
Rick for tons o' fun.
VINTAGE rick
It
was nearly unimaginable back then: Israelis and Palestinians
shaking hands on the White House lawn. It's even harder
to imagine now. Remember September of '93 in this Vintage
Rick!
NEW seasonal fave
Why
do they call it "traveling" if you're standing still?
And can't anyone do something about it? Get moving with
this Seasonal Fave!
Gonzales gets ready
Don't Say He Wasn't Warned
By Rick Horowitz
Attorney
general cancels public schedule to practice for crucial congressional
testimony.
Ripped from the headlines
Columnist puts aside traditional neutrality to offer attorney general
career-saving advice.
Ripped from an alternate universe
Smile,
Though your job's in trouble,
Smile,
Though you're on the bubble,
When you feel tempted to curse,
You'll do worse
If you smile,
When your mem'ry's hazy,
Smile,
And you'll drive them crazy,
You'll see them coming after you.
(It's true!)
Act
Like you think you're winning,
Stay
On the verge of grinning,
Although a smirk's
Guaranteed not to work,
Let your lips
Say you think they're losers --
Charlatans,
Dupes and boozers --
You'll look so happy with your guile,
If you just smile.
Smile,
Ev'ry time you answer,
Smile,
It's a mood enhancer,
Drive your tormenters insane --
Be a pain!
And just smile
While you're testifying,
Smile,
And they'll think you're lying,
You'll be condemned from coast to coast:
You're toast.
Though
They're prepared for battle,
Don't
Let 'em see you rattle,
Stand up for Bush,
And fall right on your tush,
So hang on
To that glad expression,
Give them
The wrong impression,
You'll fill the hearing room with bile,
If you...just...smile!
Posted 4/10/07. Get lyrical with Rick --
and tell your friends!
Rick Horowitz
