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Tale of two cities The Bigger, the Better?By Rick Horowitz
"Some in Congress say the plan is too big. Well, it seems like to me they might have some explaining to do. If they agree that tax relief creates jobs, then why are they for a little bitty tax-relief package?" President Bush, out on the stump Here in Bold Stroke, we like to live our lives large. We go for the firm stand, and the grand gesture. If you're going to do a thing -- this is how we see it, anyway -- you ought to do it full tilt instead of just nibbling around the edges. We're used to going after what we want, and we're used to getting it. Not like those wimps across the river in Little Bitty. In Little Bitty, they stick their toes in the water before they go swimming; they never just dive in the way we do. The folks in Little Bitty see two sides to everything, and sometimes even more than two sides. They like to look at all the "nuances" -- which means looking for problems when there aren't any problems, and raising questions when there's absolutely no need to raise questions. Like with the president's tax-cut plan, for instance. (He always calls it "tax relief," which I'm sure does even better in opinion polls than "tax cut" does, but it's really the same thing.) Instead of just lining up behind whatever number President Bush thinks is best for the country, the folks in Little Bitty keep trying to shave it down. Some of them are saying they won't go a penny over $350 billion -- talk about a Little Bitty package! But if you agree with the president that tax cuts create jobs, then you have to agree that bigger tax cuts create even more jobs -- it's perfectly logical. That's why I get so frustrated with the folks in Little Bitty and all their whining. You listen long enough -- there's too much in the package for these people, not enough for those people, how do we pay for the war?, how do we pay for everything else? -- you can get a headache. Of course, whenever I get a headache, I just pop a bottle of aspirin and I'm fine. The folks in Little Bitty, they get a headache, they just take a tiny little dose -- one aspirin, or maybe two. But if one or two aspirin are good for a headache, then 100 aspirin have to be even better, right? It's perfectly logical. Same with exercise -- everybody here in Bold Stroke is really into exercise. So why limit yourself to 30 minutes of brisk walking three times a week, the way they do in Little Bitty, when you can run a marathon every morning? After all, if exercise is good for you, then more exercise has to be even better, right? I admit it -- running 26 miles every day does make my knees a little sore from time to time, but I find a nice hot bath always does the trick. Warm water is very soothing for aching joints, so of course hot water is even nicer -- around 200, 210 degrees works best for me. I may blister a bit, but I figure it's worth it. Here in Bold Stroke, we don't let little things like blisters slow us down. Actually, we don't let much of anything slow us down. In fact, we don't even have speed limits in Bold Stroke, and that pretty much says it all. You go across the river to Little Bitty and there are signs everywhere -- 30 miles per hour downtown, 40 in some of the suburbs, 50 out in the countryside. But in Bold Stroke, it's pedal to the metal all the time. I went out to pick up some groceries the other day (a vat of milk, a side of beef), and I was doing 140 before I was off the driveway; nobody batted an eyelash. The way we look at it, if getting someplace quickly is a good thing, then getting someplace really quickly is an even better thing. It's perfectly logical. It's all perfectly logical. But try explaining that to the folks in Little Bitty. Posted 4/29/03. No
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Rick Horowitz
