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Can they get along? All for One, One for AllBy Rick Horowitz
Could it be? Are we dreaming? Finally, from Baghdad, signs of a thaw. Perhaps it's the breakthrough we've been waiting for, the first stirrings of that "unity government" we've been hearing about for so long. Even days ago, it still seemed like a distant hope, but then there it was, on TV screens around the world and impossible to deny. Yes, friends: Condi and Rummy in the same room, and smiling at each other. Well, smiling near each other, anyway -- at each other may be stretching it a bit. And in Rummy's case, it might have been gas. Amazing but true: After months of squabbling, with tensions growing and hopes for a peaceful solution fading by the day, there they were in Baghdad, making nice -- the heads of two of the leading groups contending for power in post-war Iraq: the U.S. State Department and the U.S. Defense Department. You can keep your militias; when it comes to vicious infighting and constant intrigue, there's nothing like two Cabinet secretaries trying to cut one another out of the action. But now it's all just water under the bridge. Cooperate, ordered the boss. (Not Dick Cheney -- the other boss, the one on the bicycle.) So they flew into Baghdad, Condi and Rummy did, and they stood alongside the incoming Iraqi prime minister and they held meetings with Iraqi officials and they pronounced themselves inspired by all the progress. So inspired, apparently, that they actually pledged to work together to help get Iraq back on its feet. If the sun stood still in the sky as those words were spoken, if the planets stopped dead in their tracks, nobody on the scene thought to mention it. A pity. These sorts of miracles don't happen every day. Condi and Rummy, teaming up. A piece of cake. All Condi has to do is forget about how Defense aced State out of any role in the pre-invasion planning for the post-invasion reconstruction. (And hasn't that reconstruction gone wonderfully with Rummy & Co. in charge? How's that? Couldn't hear me over the bomb blasts? I said, "And hasn't that reconstruction...") All Condi has to do is forget about how she and Rummy disagreed over providing security for American reconstruction teams working in the provinces, and how their disagreement has delayed putting all those teams in place. All Rummy has to do is forget about how Condi recently mentioned the "tactical errors, thousands of them, I'm sure" that have been made in the course of the Rummy-run invasion and occupation. All Condi has to do is forget about how Rummy responded to Condi's error count: "I don't know what she was talking about, to be perfectly honest." And for that matter, as he explained in his best Rummy Talks to the Slow-Witted voice, when you're confronting an enemy, "you have to constantly adjust and change your tactics, your techniques and your procedures. If someone says, well, that's a tactical mistake, then I guess it's a lack of understanding, at least my understanding, of what warfare is about." Nothing personal. All Rummy has to do is overlook the fact that Condi is Dubya's best pal, and that she'll always have the president's ear. All Condi has to do is overlook the fact that Rummy is Washington's best inside player, and that he'll never give up anything without a fight. No problem. They're on the same page now, singing from the same hymnal. In fact, here's Condi on Fox News, insisting that she and Rummy have "an excellent relationship." So working together should be a breeze from now on, right? Nothing to worry about, right? Absolutely. What a relief! Coming up next: Leopards change their spots. Posted 5/1/06. Keep
up with all the latest intrigue right here at "Rick's"!
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Rick Horowitz
