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Rummy to the woodshed? So Much Damage. So Much Control.By Rick Horowitz
"Mr. President, you wanted to see me?" "Hey, Don! Yeah, I did -- c'mon in. Grab a seat. How's it goin'?" "Under the circumstances, Mr. President, I'd say it's going pretty much the way some might have expected it to be going. Not that any of us can ever say with certainty that we really know how it's -- " "Whatever. Look, we gotta talk about this prison mess -- they're turning it into a scandal!" "You mean 'Interrogate'?" "It's already got a name?!" "Just a matter of time, Mr. President. We've all been taking quite a pounding." "Yeah, but I'm the only one who's up for reelection. And I'm the commander in chief -- I'm the only one who's in charge of things." "Well, that's certainly the impression we've tried to convey -- and very successfully, too, I might add." "Don, this thing is just killin' us! It's gonna make the whole June 30 business that much harder -- nobody wants to get near us. And Rove is chewin' his fingers off -- it'll take a whole generation for us to live down the damage in the Arab world? Did he really have to say that? Out loud?" "Politics isn't my current area of expertise, Mr. President. But I'm sure that if we continue on our present course -- " "I'm gonna be writing my memoirs in January! That's why I wanted to see you." "To ghostwrite your memoirs? I'm flattered, Mr. President, but -- " "To dress you down." "Excuse me?" "To dress you down. To let you know I'm really ticked off about what happened over there. And about finding out about the whole thing so late." "With all due respect, Mr. President, I believe you were informed about the basics -- prisoners, allegations, we're looking into it -- some time ago." "Of course I was. I can't remember exactly when -- at least till we figure out which way it polls better, that I knew earlier or later. But -- " "We didn't see any need to bother you with the details, Mr. President. We know you like to think of yourself as a big-picture kind of guy." "Well, these were pretty big pictures, weren't they?" "Actually, I think they were fairly nor -- " "And right there on '60 Minutes'? That makes 'em big however big they are, doesn't it?" "If you look at it that way, Mr. President, I can certainly understand why you might not feel entirely satisfied with how it played out." "'Not satisfied' -- we can use that one." "Sir?" "It doesn't do me any good to dress you down if nobody knows I did it. Rove says that's the whole point of doing a dressing-down -- we get to leak it, and take some pressure off. 'The president called his defense secretary in and let him know he was "not satisfied" with the way things were handled.' Or 'not happy' -- I kind of like 'not happy,' too. What do you think?" "Why not use them both? Double the impact." "And I scolded you. I didn't just tell you -- I 'scolded' you." "'Chastised.' 'Chastised' is better -- they'll never buy you 'scolding' me." "The age difference." "Exactly." "But they'll buy 'chastise'?" "Or 'rebuke.' I'll even try to look remorseful for a few hours." "That'll be a first!" "All part of the job, Mr. President. And if it doesn't fly? Throw me to the sharks?" "Not unless we absolutely have to. Rove says it'll just put more blood in the water." "Whichever way you want to play it -- just give me a heads-up, OK? I've got to get back to the office." "So we're good?" "We're good." Posted 5/6/04. Cut
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Rick Horowitz
