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Cashing in on the presidency Silence Isn't All That GoldenBy Rick Horowitz "... delighted to see you, Mr. President -- have a seat! I trust the train ride was agreeable?" "Yep." "Splendid! Now, Mr. President -- or would you prefer that I call you 'Mr. Coolidge...'" "Nope." "'Mr. President' it is, then! What an honor it is for the National Broadcasting Company to welcome to our offices a gentleman of such importance to our nation. Needless to say, we were thunderstruck, as I daresay were all your fellow citizens, when you announced that you did not choose to run for another term as our chief executive." "Had enough of it." "Precisely! Though I'm sure Washington will be much the poorer for your absence, sir. On the other hand, I assume it was that very decision that brought to mind thoughts of future endeavors, which occasioned your letter to me of Tuesday last, which brings you here today." "Right." "So you want to be the host of a 'talk show.'" "Yep." "Which would be transmitted through the facilities of NBC -- forgive me, the National Broadcasting Company." "Figured that out." "Of course you did, a man of your -- anyhow, what an intriguing concept! Our programmists are all agreed -- and I took the liberty of sharing your letter with several of them -- that radio has never heard the like of it before: a former president of the United States filling up the 'airwaves' on a regular basis." "Yep." "And talking about...?" "Things." "Things." "Things. Can't miss." "Now, as I said, Mr. President, my associates and I find it a most intriguing concept. Our concerns -- our questions, really -- have more to do with how it would work in practice. As I understand the idea, sir, a 'talk show' would necessarily involve a great deal of..." "Talk." "Precisely! And no offense intended, sir, but when it comes to talking, your reputation is rather the opposite -- 'Silent Cal' and all that. Most people can't get a word out of you." "Been saving it up. Good listener, too." "Well, you see, Mr. President, there's our problem in a nutshell: It doesn't really work to have the man standing at the microphone be a 'good listener.' That's what the audience is for. If you're not talking, who's going to -- " "My guests. Here..." "What's this you've...hmmm, that Lindbergh fella -- interesting. Babe Ruth. Flappers..." "That sort." "And you're suggesting that we hire you to listen to these people? No offense intended, Mr. President, but couldn't anyone do that? Couldn't I do that?" "Haven't been president." "An excellent point -- I haven't been president! Whereas you, sir, having been president, would bring to your listening duties an expertise that would be well worth the..." "Fifty million dollars." "Fifty million dollars." "For the first year." "Why, Mr. President, I had no idea you were such a kidder! Perhaps we should be considering you for a comedy show! You are kidding, aren't you?" "Nope." "Nope?" "Nope." Posted 5/7/02. Is
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Rick Horowitz
