It's not just guns, you know.

This Bunch Really Has an Edge

By Rick Horowitz

"Let's bury the hatchet and build a future for our children." --President Clinton, calling for a White House summit on youth violence.

WASHINGTON, ANY MINUTE NOW -- Plans to convene a White House meeting to discuss the causes of violence among America's youth drew opposition today from an unexpected quarter, as the National Hatchet Association announced that it would boycott the event, scheduled for Monday.

"We cannot in good conscience participate in this gathering," association leaders declared at a morning news conference, "when President Clinton has made it perfectly clear that he intends to use our organization and its law-abiding members as scapegoats."

The association condemned Mr. Clinton's recent statement, made in the wake of the shootings in Littleton, Colo., that he wanted to "bury the hatchet" rather than argue about "who takes the blame" for the apparent upsurge in violent acts by teenagers.

"How can he be an honest broker on the subject of violence," asked NHA president Charlton Carleton, "when he's so obviously prejudiced on the subject of bladed weapons? George Washington didn't chop down that cherry tree all those years ago so that Bill Clinton could take away the God-given constitutional rights of thousands of patriotic hatchet owners."

Among those expected to attend the White House meeting are Internet and entertainment industry executives, educators and gun manufacturers. Presidential press secretary Joe Lockhart said today that the president "regretted" the NHA's decision not to participate, although he admitted that "strictly speaking," the NHA had not been invited.

To NHA officials, the lack of a formal invitation only reinforced their view that the deck was being stacked against them in the upcoming meeting.

Said Carleton, "We should have had a seat at that table -- but we had no intention of being served up as the main course."

Standing before a large banner that proclaimed, "When hatchets are outlawed, only outlaws will have hatchets," NHA officials asserted that, in any event, burying hatchets would not satisfy their opponents.

"They'll be coming after the ax next, just you watch," said Carleton. "They won't be satisfied until there isn't a single home in America with so much as a Swiss Army knife."

While far less well-known than other groups with an interest in the teen-violence issue, such as the National Rifle Association, NHA officials made clear today that they still expected to play a significant role in the ongoing national debate. The organization's most recent lobbying efforts had focused on trying to change the name of Bad Axe, Michigan, to Not So Bad Axe, Michigan. Those efforts will continue, officials maintained, though at a somewhat reduced level so as not to strain the organization's limited resources.

"We may not have the clout that the NRA has," Carleton conceded in answer to a reporter's question. "We may not have their firepower. But show me where the Constitution says 'the right to bear arms' applies only to guns. When our brave pioneers cleared the forests to build a new nation, they didn't use guns, they used nice sharp blades. When the Pentagon came out with a new cruise missile, they didn't call it the Shotgun, they called it the Tomahawk. What does that tell you?"

But Carleton dismissed any suggestion of a rivalry with the gun lobby.

"We're all in this together, " he insisted. "Even if our weapons kill just a fraction of the people that their weapons kill, we still have a vital role to play in making America what it is today. And we're not giving that up without a fight."

Posted 5/7/99. Sharpen your mind right here twice weekly!

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