On second thought...

Fun While It Lasted

By Rick Horowitz

Florida lawmakers overhaul election system, eliminate punch-card ballots.

Ripped from the headlines

Dear You,

How are things going? I'm fine, and I hope you're fine, too. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch these past few months, but things have been really busy around here. I've actually picked up the phone to call you a couple of times, but I just haven't been able to do it. So I thought I'd better send you this letter instead -- it's the hardest letter I've ever had to write.

It's over, Chad.

We can't see each other anymore.

I'm not sure I can give you a good reason, and I certainly don't want you to think it's all your fault. Whenever a relationship ends, both sides have to take some responsibility, and I'm sure I've done plenty of things that bothered you, too. But it just doesn't work for me the way it used to, and instead of trying to live a lie, I figured you'd rather I be honest with you.

It wouldn't be right to leave you hanging, Chad.

I really thought you'd be the one for me for ever and ever. I still remember the first time I saw you, how cute you looked -- and those dimples! You were my "Holey Boy" and I was your "Sunshine Girl" and everything was perfect, wasn't it? My friends said that you were just another pretty face, but I knew there was more to you than that, and I was right, and I'll always be grateful for the good times we had and all the things we did together.

But then it stopped being fun, I'm not exactly sure why. What I do know is you started acting really strange, and instead of being your old affectionate self, you seemed really detached. After a while, I was afraid to even touch you -- you looked like you'd just fall apart.

I did what I could to make it better, but nothing worked. There were times I got so frustrated that I wanted to totally punch you out, but I just couldn't do it. Did I come on too strong? Did I make you feel cornered? If I did, I'm sorry. I just wanted it to be good again, the way it once was. But any relationship has to be a two-way street, and you didn't even try, Chad!

I'm sure you see it the other way around. I'm sure you think I just used you to get what I wanted, and once I had it, I didn't need you anymore. Maybe that's true -- I don't even know, it all seems so long ago. But how do you think I felt when I started hearing all those rumors? When you'd tell me you were sick and we couldn't get together, and then my friends would see you out swinging somewhere?

Remember when I finally got up the courage to ask you about it that one time? You denied it, of course. But -- and I remember this so clearly -- there was the slightest little hesitation, just a tiny little pause, before you said anything.

That pause was pregnant, Chad. I saw the light.

I never thought I'd care what other people thought about me, but I hated being the laughingstock of the world, and the longer we were together, the more I felt that way. So even though I'd been telling everybody we were doing great, no problems, in my heart I knew differently. I knew I needed a change.

I've started seeing someone -- I thought you should hear it from me before you heard it from anyone else. Scanner (that's his name -- pretty weird, huh?) treats me really nicely. If I make a mistake, he doesn't hold it against me, he gives me a chance to correct it. He even lets me touch him without falling all to pieces. And maybe people will stop laughing at me now.

Please don't hate me, Chad. I'm glad we were together, but it was time to move on.

We'll always have Palm Beach County.

Posted 5/8/01. People keep laughing at Rick -- but he doesn't mind! Spread the word.

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker

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