Kerry & Nader

Just a Couple of Guys Talking

By Rick Horowitz

Kerry meets with Nader, doesn't ask him to bow out of race.

Ripped from the headlines

Unofficial minutes of the proceedings:

Mr. Kerry welcomed Mr. Nader and thanked him for agreeing to meet with him. Mr. Kerry said that he had long been an admirer of Mr. Nader and "all the great things" Mr. Nader had done for his country.

Mr. Nader thanked Mr. Kerry for his willingness to take part in such a meeting. Mr. Nader said that he, too, had long been an admirer of Mr. Nader and "all the great things" Mr. Nader had done for his country.

Mr. Kerry and Mr. Nader agreed that Mr. Nader was a very admirable person.

Mr. Kerry asked Mr. Nader what he had been "up to lately," and Mr. Nader said that he had been running for president of the United States. Mr. Kerry pointed out that he was also running for president of the United States. Mr. Kerry told Mr. Nader that he had "high hopes" of winning the election if certain key factors broke in his favor.

Mr. Nader told Mr. Kerry that winning was "a fine goal to have," and that there were many definitions of winning. Mr. Kerry said that his own definition of winning was 270 electoral votes.

Lunch was served.

Mr. Nader told Mr. Kerry that he had always been a fan of Heinz ketchup, and expressed the view that the thickness of Heinz ketchup made it "safe at any speed." Mr. Kerry chuckled heartily at Mr. Nader's comment, and said that he had "never heard that one before." Mr. Nader revealed that he had written the punch line all by himself.

Mr. Kerry and Mr. Nader agreed that "it was a good one."

Mr. Nader further stated that a sense of humor was an important attribute for a presidential candidate to have -- something Mr. Nader said was missing "in that piece of petrified wood you nominated last time."

Mr. Kerry said that he preferred to "focus on the future" instead of dwelling on the past. He did observe, however, that "since you brought it up," Al Gore's narrow loss in 2000 could be attributed to many factors other than his personality. Mr. Kerry pointed out that, in the view of many experts, the votes Mr. Nader received in 2000 had come largely from potential Gore supporters, and that, had Mr. Gore received those votes in certain closely contested states, he would have carried those states and won the election.

Mr. Nader said that if he had four wheels and flies, he would be a garbage truck.

Coffee was served.

Mr. Kerry pledged that, as president, he would look closely at special tax breaks and legal protections for corporations. He also said that he would "crack down" on corporate abuses and corporate crime, something he said President Bush had "utterly failed" to do. Mr. Kerry said he understood how important these issues were to Mr. Nader, and therefore how important it was to Mr. Nader to make sure that President Bush is defeated in November.

Mr. Nader asked if there was any cake.

Mr. Kerry wondered about Mr. Nader's travel plans over the coming months. Mr. Kerry pointed out that Idaho, Montana and Wyoming are "lovely" at any time of year, but particularly in the period between now and Election Day. He urged Mr. Nader to spend "as much time as you possibly can" in those states.

Mr. Nader said that he was thinking of spending his time in "battleground states." Mr. Kerry said that the Battle of Vicksburg had always been one of his favorites. He offered to make hotel reservations for Mr. Nader in Mississippi, as well as in Alabama, South Carolina, Nebraska and Texas. Mr. Nader said that he appreciated the offer, but that he was more inclined to visit such states as Oregon, Wisconsin, Arizona and Florida. Mr. Kerry began shaking uncontrollably, and the meeting concluded.

Aides to the two men agreed to keep the "lines of communication" open.

Posted 5/20/04. Follow all the campaign's twists and turns right here at "Rick's"!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker

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