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On the way out the door The Things People Say!By Rick Horowitz Just so you know: I'm leaving to spend more time with Christie Whitman's family. Or maybe it's Ari Fleischer's family -- I haven't quite decided yet. But it's almost certainly one or the other. After all, if the Whitman and Fleischer families are so appealing that two high-level Bushies like Christie and Ari would give up high-level jobs to spend more time with them, there's no reason I shouldn't be willing -- even eager! -- to do the same. To step away from my own (decidedly non-high-level) job, that is, and put an end to familius interruptus. That's what they're saying, anyway -- Fleischer, the president's chief spokesman, on Monday, then Whitman, the head of the EPA, on Wednesday -- about why they're leaving their current positions, although Fleischer did allow as how he might also be spending more time with his speaking circuit. Maybe he'll just invite the family along. If they're going to quit their posts, Whitman and Fleischer, now is the ideal time to announce it. With the president's re-election campaign looming, the administration had apparently put out the word: in for the summer, in for the duration. Suddenly, packing those boxes didn't seem like such a bad idea. As candid departure statements go, of course, these two were hardly the worst. At least we didn't have to endure that old bootprints-on-the-back, jumped-fell-or-was-pushed standby, "Mr. Schleem will be leaving to pursue other career options." (Like making license plates.) Nobody expected Fleischer to say in so many words that after so many years in politics, he finally has a chance to go for the really big bucks. And nobody really expected Whitman to admit that she's actually leaving for health reasons: her boss's environmental positions keep sticking in her craw. I mean, how many times can you say the words "Healthy Forests Initiative" when you could just as easily -- and far more comfortably -- say "Boon to Big Timber"? At least journalists get to tuck a "so-called" in front of the thing when they have to write it: "The president's so-called 'Healthy Forests Initiative.'" (Perhaps they remember -- and I paraphrase -- the famous question attributed to Lincoln, "How many legs does a dog have if you call its tail a leg?" And its equally famous answer, "Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.") Where were we? Right. When you work for the administration, you call it whatever they tell you to call it. You even say, the way Whitman says, that when it comes to the environment, you and your boss have "always been on the same page." Of course, your boss may read that page a bit differently from the way you do; he may think, for instance, that loggers are simply good citizens, being so willing to get in there and clear out some of those scrunched-together trees from some of those crowded old forests. They'd do it to prevent catastrophic forest fires, of course, and it's such a noble mission they'll be on that they won't even try to process or sell any of the timber they cut down; they'll just cut it down and throw it away. I made that last part up. Which is the sort of thing Christie Whitman won't have to do anymore. The sort of thing that Ari Fleischer won't have to do. The sort of thing Jayson Blair did constantly. Blair's departure, from the New York Times, was a smidgen less voluntary, a tad more sudden, than Whitman's and Fleischer's will be. But it hasn't stopped him from getting into the explaining business himself, even if it's after the fact. "So Jayson Blair the human being could live," he's now declared, "Jayson Blair the journalist had to die." Did I mention the book contract? Jayson Blair is reportedly angling for a big fat book contract, maybe even a movie deal, about his trials and tribulations. He calls it "a cautionary tale." He says he hopes "others will learn from my mistakes." Heartwarming, isn't it? And it's such a noble mission he's on that he won't even try to cash in on his multiple deceptions; he'll donate all the proceeds to newspapers and journalism schools to pay for management training and ethics courses and... Actually, he hasn't said that yet, but can you blame him? He's been so busy. But at least he's been able to spend more time finding an agent. Posted 5/22/03. The
time you spend at "Rick's" is time well spent. (Your family will understand.)
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Rick Horowitz
