The play's the thing.

Everybody's a Critic

By Rick Horowitz

"I frankly view what's taking place in Washington today as pure political theater."

President Bush, still defending Alberto Gonzales

Democrat Dud Lacks Drama, Depth

By G.W. Bush, Theater Critic
Special to the Crawford Crawfish-Herald

Somewhere out there, there must be somebody who actually had high hopes for "No Confidence," the latest bit of make-believe morality now enjoying an open-ended -- and seemingly endless -- run at the Judiciary Playhouse.

Whoever and wherever that optimistic person may be, he's certainly keeping himself well hidden today, and with good reason.

What a waste of time!

In all my years as a critic, I've seldom had the misfortune to sit through a play with so little to recommend it. To say the plot is trivial would be to suggest that there is, in fact, a plot, when there's absolutely no evidence of it. To say the performances are lacking something would be to suggest that adding this tweak or that bit of business might do something to salvage matters, when the whole sorry enterprise is far beyond salvaging.

And don't get me started on the staging.

Another dead-on-arrival disaster from Democrat Productions? How did you guess? Maybe this will be the misstep that, at long last, sends Messrs. Reid, Leahy, Schumer et al. off in search of a career in some other, less demanding, field, but I wouldn't hold my breath. There are few people in this world more resolute than a Broadway wannabe caught in the iron grip of self-delusion.

Here's the pity of it: Buried deep beneath "No Confidence"'s layers of propaganda and mindless suspicion lie the seeds of a drama actually worthy of attention. The inspiring story of a young man from humble beginnings rising to the very top of his chosen profession through hard work and a "never-give-up, never-give-in" attitude -- is there a more American tale than that? It's the kind of Horatio Alger saga that we've taken to our hearts for generations.

The Democrat impresarios could have told that story. Instead, they -- and a handful of Republican backers who should have known better than to lend their good names to such a tawdry effort -- opt for an overblown and overwrought "whodunit" about some government lawyers who lost their jobs when their terms were over. There may be a less sympathetic group of victims than a gaggle of government attorneys, but it's hard to imagine. And building an entire play on that hackneyed question -- "What did Alberto Gonzales know, and when did he know it?" -- practically guarantees yawns by the boatload.

For hour after hour, Mr. Gonzales is forced to sit -- and we're forced to watch him sit -- at a long, nondescript table in a congressional hearing room. He's all alone at this table, facing his grandstanding inquisitors and fending off their questions, which grow ever more repetitive. As do his answers. How many times can the same witness be made to say the say the same four words -- "Senator, I don't recall" -- before the audience feels the irresistible urge to abandon its own seats for the fresh air of the lobby?

Only my journalistic responsibilities (and a paralyzing ennui) kept me rooted for the duration. And when it was over, I needed a double espresso and a shower.

There is political theater, and then there is pure political theater -- a show so intent on hammering home its simplistic point that the subtleties of character and the niceties of stagecraft are all but ignored. "No Confidence," sad -- but hardly surprising -- to say, lands with a thud in this latter category.

Memo to the producers: Next time, try flight suits!

Posted 5/22/07. When the curtain goes up, click to "Rick's" for award-winning commentary!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

Search the Web Search Rick's!

©2007 Rick Horowitz. All rights reserved.