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Rear view is the clear view He's Looking Forward to Looking BackwardBy Rick Horowitz
I like to think of myself as a solution-oriented kind of guy. Some people, you come to them with a problem, they'll listen, they'll nod, they'll make sympathetic clucking sounds. If the problem is bad enough, they might even exclaim. "That's awful!" they'll cry. "You must feel terrible!" This is supposed to make you feel better -- having someone else agree that your life is a mess. That's never been my style. I hear about somebody with a problem, I try to come up with an answer. It may not be the world's best answer, but at least it's something. Sometimes several somethings. "Have you tried this?" I'll say. Or, "Have you considered that?" Or, "Here's another way to look at it." Or, "I know someone you should call." Is that better than clucking? I think so. Anyway, it's my way. And now I've decided, being the fine and patriotic citizen I am, to offer my solution-oriented services to the government of these here United States. And my solution is: We need a Department of Hindsight. You know what the problem is, don't you? The problem is that Washington is utterly consumed by the events of September 11th, and -- especially lately -- by the various signals that might have been missed, the various warnings that might have been ignored, along the way. Should the FBI have paid more attention to Middle Eastern men getting trained at American flight schools? Should the CIA have dug deeper into the possibility of Osama bin Laden's people trying to hijack American planes? Should somebody have noticed that Zacarias Moussaoui was doing the same kinds of things in Minnesota that were worrying an FBI agent in Arizona? Should somebody have put all the pieces together? Just for starters. The even bigger problem, though, is that Washington's...consumption is totally chaotic. You've got the FBI and the CIA front and center, but then you've also got the FAA and the Defense Department and the State Department and -- and every one of them is backtracking through old files, rereading old memos, trying to figure out where they went wrong, examining and explaining, bobbing and weaving. And then on top of that, you've got Congress jumping in -- this member and that one, this Senate committee, this House committee -- calling witnesses and flinging questions and demanding answers. (And in their spare time, looking ever so gingerly for a smidgen of partisan advantage.) That's how it goes in Washington these days. But it's too disorganized! That's what the problem is! And that's why we need the Department of Hindsight. With a Department of Hindsight, we'd finally have a place to centralize all the criticism and second-guessing, about September 11th or anything else. But we'd also have a better place to coordinate the response to all the criticism and second-guessing. With a Department of Hindsight, we'd have better-written excuses, and better-covered butts. With a Department of Hindsight, our top officials could be 20-20 24/7. I can already see the departmental emblem: a majestic bald eagle with its head on backward. Or if we're looking for something a bit more contemporary, how about a bureaucrat slapping his forehead? Either one would really capture the spirit of the place. I can already hear the departmental motto. Actually, we'd have to translate it first: What's Latin for "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda"? The Department of Hindsight -- my gift to America. Another problem solved. I only wish I'd thought of it sooner. Posted 5/23/02. Think
of "Rick's" for the freshest commentary! (He doesn't need a motto.)
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Rick Horowitz
