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In Sickness, Not in Health

By Rick Horowitz

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" -- for joining us, senator. It's good to see you."

"Good to be here, Steve."

"Now, I understand you've been pretty busy lately back in Washington. Tell our 'Morning Munch' bunch what you've been up to."

"Well, Steve, the main thing I've been up to is trying to get a bill through Congress that'll help us find a cure for Fric-Frac's Syndrome. My bill calls for an initial expenditure of 200 million dollars over the next fiscal year, and then it ramps up to 500 million a year over the next three years. I'm working very hard on that."

"That's a lot of money, isn't it? Especially for a disease many people have never heard of?"

"Actually, Steve, it's just a drop in the bucket compared to all the heartache and pain Fric-Frac's Syndrome causes every day in this country. It's a way to get the research started, and maybe even build some public awareness about the disease. In fact, that's why I've agreed to serve as the first honorary co-chairman of the Fric-Frac Coalition. I just think it's a very worthy cause."

"I'm sure it is, and I'm sure they're very glad to have your help. Tell me, how long have you been involved in the fight against Fric-Frac's?"

"Next Thursday will be two weeks."

"Excuse me?"

"It'll be two weeks next Thursday. My sister-in-law's kid was diagnosed with the thing -- she called me that afternoon."

"And before that?"

"To be honest with you, I'd never really thought about it. There are so many diseases out there..."

"Correct me if I'm wrong here, senator, but over the course of your career you've actually voted on many occasions against funding for the Food and Drug Administration, not to mention the National Institutes of Health. Didn't you even say one time that if God had wanted Congress to cure diseases, He'd -- "

" -- have given us microscopes instead of microphones. I certainly did."

"So why the change?"

"Well, Steve, I've had a chance to take another look at the issue. And it just seems to me now, in a way it never did before, that there's a role for us, that we in Congress really need to be leaders in this fight."

"Because your sister-in-law's child has Fric-Frac's."

"Exactly. That poor boy is going through such a hard time, it just breaks your heart. And of course he's not the only one. So if I'm somehow able, by virtue of being a United States senator, to steer some much-needed attention to battling this terrible disease, then I think it's well worth the effort."

"What do you say to those people who have children -- or other relatives, or maybe even themselves -- who suffer from other diseases? Don't they deserve to have the government on their side, too? Why should Fric-Frac's Syndrome suddenly move to the head of the line?"

"I'd tell them not to lose hope. There are 99 other senators in Washington, and 435 representatives, and it seems like every week or so, one of them has somebody close to them come down with a serious condition -- that's all it takes! Plus you've got your sports stars, and your Hollywood types. Presidents. Former presidents. Eventually, somebody important is going to be wrestling with the same disease you're wrestling with -- "

" -- and then the money starts to flow."

"Steve, it's the American Dream."

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Posted 6/16/04. Get a healthy dose of commentary twice every week, right here at "Rick's"!


Send Rick a note!Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker

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