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RNC mail call They Must Be Here SomeplaceBy Rick Horowitz [At Republican
National Committee headquarters, it's just another working day...]
"Lah-dee-dee, lah-dee-di, lah-dee -- darn!" "Anything wrong, Collins?" "Nah, just having a little trouble with this computer. Again." "Trouble? What kind of trouble?" "No big deal -- just trying to pull up some old e-mail from Ken Mehlman. Can't seem to put my hands on it." "Well, I'm sure it's in there. You know how careful we are about keeping all that kind of stuff." "Don't I know it!
"Absolutely not!" "Wouldn't be right. Never know who might need to see it someday. Here -- slide over a sec, let me see if I can..." "Oh, you don't -- I don't want to waste your time." "No problem at all, Collins. Besides, it's hardly a waste of time to make sure our comprehensive record-retention procedures are working exactly the way they're supposed to. Now, show me again -- where were you looking for this e-mail?" "Let's see -- I was right over here, and then I went over here, which is where I thought it would be, under 'Mehlman,' but no. It looks like it's all been deleted." "It certainly looks that way, doesn't it? How strange!" "That's what I thought." "I wonder how it could have happened, don't you? What if somebody clicked here?" "I think you just lost something else." "Really?" "I'm pretty sure I saw something drop off the list." "Well, that could explain it. Just clicking over here, you say." "There goes another one." "Well, that is strange -- no question about it. I wonder if -- hey, Tom, come over here a minute, would you?" "Sure. What's up?" "Well, Collins here and I are having a little kerfuffle with the e-mail. Is it only the Mehlman stuff, Collins?" "Not sure yet. Mehlman's the only one I've been looking for." "And he can't find it anywhere. What do you think, Tom?" "Well, I think we should check some of the others, too. Wouldn't want anything else to go astray, would we?" "You can say that again! Think you can help us?" "I can certainly try. Let me call up the -- OK, here's one of the master lists. Now, what happens if I click on this?" "Nothing happens." "Nothing happens." "OK. But if I double-click?" "Now it's gone." "Oops." "Totally gone." "Just by double-clicking here?" "And there goes the other one." "Oops." "Any chance we can retrieve them, Tom?" "Not if you click here, and then here, and then here. Those puppies are bye-bye forever!" "Really? Just by clicking here, and here, and here?" "Gonzo!" "Imagine that!" "Imagine that!" "How strange! Do you want to try it, Collins?" "Me?" "So you'll know what not to do." "I -- well, sure. If you think I should." "I think it's only fair. Don't you, Tom?" "Absolutely!" "Well, if you really -- oops." "That's it."" "Oops." "Now you're getting the hang of it. And this one." "Oops." "Oops." "And this one..." Posted 6/19/07. Get
award-winning satire right here at "Rick's"!
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Rick Horowitz
