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Lynch mob To Market, To Market...By Rick Horowitz
INTEROFFICE MEMO
I know you were every bit as sorry as I was when you first learned of the terrible injuries Jessica Lynch suffered earlier this year while she was serving her country in Iraq. And I know you were every bit as moved as I was when she was finally rescued by her fellow courageous American servicepeople. Everyone here at the station is delighted to hear that Jessica's condition seems to be improving, and all our hopes go out to her for a full and speedy recovery. Enough small talk. How do we get her on our air? As a veteran station manager (and someone who used to deliver newspapers before school every morning), I know a stirring story when I see one, and this is definitely a stirring story, not to mention inspirational and patriotic. Even the little details are stirring. What a great touch, for instance, having her come from Palestine, West Virginia, and then being a hero in Iraq -- talk about destiny! That's exactly the kind of thing our viewers love! (And being a blonde doesn't hurt either -- thank you, Mr. Nielsen!) So how do we make her story our story? I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that a 37-watt station with a signal that can barely pass through humidity, let alone walls and floors and such, is no match for the big guys. I'm telling you you're wrong. I'm telling you you never know until you try. I'm telling you I'm the boss, and there's no "quit" in us. ("Fire" is something else again, if you get my drift.) The big guys put on their pants one leg at a time, the same way we do, even if theirs are Italian-designer pants. The important thing is what we do once we have our pants on -- and I say we compete for the story with everything we've got. Now, I know that it's unethical for journalists to pay anyone for an interview. So we definitely won't do that with "Jess" (I feel like we're already friends!), and neither will any other journalist with any scruples, even the ones with "star power." We may not have "star power" -- at least not yet! -- but I like to think we have as many scruples as anyone. In fact, whenever I'm faced with a question of journalistic ethics, I simply ask myself, "What would networks do?" It always makes things clear. I also know that certain broadcasting systems -- or maybe I should say Certain Broadcasting Systems -- have been dangling all sorts of fantastic possibilities in front of Jess to try to get her to tell her story to them. Of course, they weren't crass enough to talk about specific book deals and movie deals and such while they were trying to sign her up for the interview. I'll bet they just "happened to mention" all their corporate cousins in the media biz, and how interested they'd all be in working with Jess, and how, unlike the news division, their corporate cousins are allowed to pay real money! (Not to mention putting on "Welcome Home" concerts in her honor and letting her and her friends host a show on MTV and things like that.) I'm sure it was all pretty tempting, even if they didn't cross all the "t"s and dot all the "i"s. Well, we've got some "media synergy" cards to play, too! Wouldn't a special edition of "Yawning Morning" be the perfect kickoff for an All-Jessica Day? Harry could interview her right here in the studio, and we could run the tape every couple of hours or so. (Sari, better buy a new tape!) And while we're negotiating about that, we can "happen to mention" our own book and movie deals -- the Novel Hovel has 20 percent off on best-sellers every Saturday, and I've still got a couple of those two-for-one matinee coupons down at the Splice, and they'll even throw in the popcorn! One last thing: I'm not sure we can pull off a concert. No problem -- we find out her three favorite groups, and I'll leave some CDs in the Green Room. It's not Viacom, but it's something. Posted 6/22/03. Get
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Rick Horowitz
