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Easy come, easy go My Pal WarrenBy Rick Horowitz "Warren," I said, "you don't have to do this." But you know how Warren is -- once he gets an idea in his head, it's hard to talk him out of it. It's not that I couldn't have used the extra cash. I know, I know -- you wouldn't think so, seeing that I'm a veteran self-employed newspaper columnist, seeing that everyone knows that newspapers are where the big money is. And I'm not just about newspapers either, of course -- I'm into plenty of other stuff, too. I'm on public television here in Milwaukee, for instance, and you know the kind of big bucks you make in public television. I've even got my very first video up on YouTube, and if a video on YouTube doesn't mean instant riches, you just don't know your emerging media platforms.
Anyway, despite all that loot rolling in from every direction, I'd always figured I wouldn't turn down a fortune if somebody offered it to me. Of course, my figuring was all pretty hypothetical -- nobody had ever offered me a fortune, and I'd almost stopped thinking that anybody ever would. But that's before Warren called. Warren and I, we go way back -- I can't even remember when we first met. Right away, though, we knew we'd be friends for life. Many's the summer night we'd spend stretched out on the grassy bluff above the river, gazing at the stars in the Omaha night and sharing our dreams. I was going to be a great investor, I'd tell him. I was going to buy up chunks of some of America's best-known companies, under-appreciated companies, and ride their hidden value right into the heavens. I'd have a sharp eye for bargains and a perfect feel for the way markets behave. Warren wanted to invent something to get rid of grass stains. As dreams went, it wasn't all that impressive. "Warren," I'd say, "you need to think bigger!" Isn't it funny how things work out? The smell of printer's ink on big rolls of paper proved impossible for me to resist, and I turned away from the world of finance, never to return. Meanwhile, it was Warren who became the great investor, who amassed more money than he could possibly spend in a hundred lifetimes. When I heard his voice that day on the other end of the telephone, I knew he had something big on his mind. When he told me what it was, I had to catch my breath. But it was an offer I knew I had to refuse. "Warren," I said, "that's very kind of you, but I don't even know what I'd do with an extra 31 million dollars." "Billion." "Whatever." He tried to convince me to reconsider. I was better at spending money than he was, he said. (It was true -- even when we were kids, he'd always marveled at how quickly I could run through my allowance.) He was sure I'd make good use of all that extra dough. In my own little way, he said, I could even change the world. I had all I could do to remember to change the oil filter. You know Warren, though -- he hates to take no for an answer. He kept tossing out reasons why I should accept his money, and I kept tossing out reasons why I shouldn't, why I couldn't. We must have been on the phone for an hour, back and forth, back and forth, before I finally convinced him I was serious. As generous as his offer was -- and there can't be anybody in the world more generous than Warren -- I had to turn him down. Warren's fortune was Warren's fortune. "Why don't you give it to somebody else?" I said. It hadn't occurred to him. I was his first choice, and he'd never thought beyond that. "You really think so?" he asked. "Why not?" I said. "But who?" I told him I'd try to come up with some names. That was a few weeks ago, and then I got busy with other things -- you know how it is. I never got back to him. The next thing I know, he's in all the papers and all over TV. I guess he found his own names. That's fine with me. When you're friends the way Warren and I are friends, it doesn't change our relationship one little bit. Besides, Bill and Melinda and I go way back. Posted 6/29/06. Get
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Rick Horowitz
