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Clintons forever? Thanks for Coming. Now Go.By Rick Horowitz Was it something we said? Something we didn't say? Some lapse in judgment or failure of character on our part? Did we forget to read the fine print? Tell me: What did we do to deserve Perpetual Clintons? I'm talking, naturally, about the latest "Clinton for Senate" newslet -- only this time around, it's not Hillary thinking of taking the plunge, but The Big He himself! That's right. Wrap your mind around this one: Bill Clinton, United States senator from the great state of Arkansas. Nothing more than a vague possibility, of course, passed along in the current edition of The New Yorker magazine. Then again, that's how the missus' campaign got rolling -- from implausible to inevitable in a New York minute. And now her ever-loving (I'm speaking figuratively) spouse? According to The New Yorker, some "old friends" of the Clintons have been buzzing among themselves about the soon-to-be-former prez running for the Senate from Arkansas in 2002; they think he's going to do it. At least one person has apparently discussed the idea with the man himself, and described him as "noncommittal but interested." The White House press secretary has a different take on it. "Crazy" -- that's what Joe Lockhart says his boss called the story. Of course, since even a finger-wagging Bill Clinton denial is worth something less than the paper it's printed on... So the speculation starts: Will he? Or won't he? And if he does, what's behind it? The love of public service? The thrill of another campaign? Revenge on the incumbent, who voted to impeach him? One-upsmanship on Hillary, who's looking to carve out her own career? An addiction to the spotlight? A great way to meet hot babes? I don't care. I just don't care. I'm a walking, talking, squawking case of Clinton fatigue. I don't care whether they're holding hands again in public, or they're not. I don't care whether they're warm and cozy to one another in private, or barely civil. I don't care whether Hillary feels the need to forge a separate identity after "all she's been through." I don't care whether Bill feels the weight of history's judgment and the need for "a lasting legacy." Their smiles. Their frowns. Their ups. Their downs. I just want them to go. They're the houseguests who won't take a hint; three months after they've moved into the guest room, they're still helping themselves to your groceries, and they won't give up the remote. They're the party hosts who insist on showing you every slide from every vacation they've ever taken. ("This one's great -- look at how I look in this one...") They're the magic act that refuses to leave the stage. Get the hook. Make them disappear. We elected them -- actually, we only elected one of them -- to a four-year term, and then to another four-year term. Where did it say we'd be stuck with both of them, and forever? It was probably too much to expect that they'd finish their roller-coaster years at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and simply go back where they came from. (How're ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen D.C.?) By former-First-Couple standards, after all, they're still young; they're still vigorous. Hanging out at the Clinton Library, shaking hands and waving to school buses, was never really in the cards. But his-and-hers Senate seats? Even the merest hint of it -- it's like chalk on a blackboard, the sharp fork against the shiny plate. There has to be another way. What if we told Hillary that we already respect her for herself? Would she be willing to settle for something a bit less high-profile? What if we told Bill that all is forgiven? Mistakes happen, he was under a lot of pressure, boys will be boys and all that -- all forgiven, all forgotten. Would he be willing to cut himself, and the rest of us, some slack? That would be nice. They've got another year and a half in the White House. And when it's over? Don't go away mad. Just go away. Posted
6/29/99. Fresh stuff right here twice
weekly!
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