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Hitting the wrong note? Kerry Misses a Chance for Some HarmonyBy Rick Horowitz I guess John Edwards is OK, if all you want in a vice-presidential pick is somebody who's smart and attractive, energetic and upbeat, a great campaigner with a compelling life story, not to mention somebody who'll be far better prepared to be president on Day One than, say, George W. Bush ever was. But I was kind of hoping for more. That's why I was looking so hard at Paul Sarbanes, the senior senator from Maryland. True, it would have meant pairing two low-key liberals from the northeast, but I'd have been willing to overlook that. Of course, I was also looking hard at Paul O'Neill, the former Bush treasury secretary. He's probably a Republican, I realize, but he's a bright, outspoken guy who understands how budget numbers add up -- or don't. That's important these days. For that matter, I was willing to consider Paul O'Neill, the former Yankee outfielder -- a winner if ever there was one. Not that a Red Sox fan like Kerry was likely to tap a Yankee like O'Neill, or any Yankee, but I could dream. And if Paul Wellstone were still alive, the fiery Minnesota senator would definitely have been on my short list. That's because he's got it. They've all got it -- that certain something. The right name. There's no shortage of theories about what goes into choosing a vice-presidential nominee. Regional balance. Resume balance. Ideological compatibility. Ideological contrast. Washington insiders. Washington outsiders. But what about entertainment value? Nothing against John Edwards, but Kerry could have taken a bold and crowd-pleasing leap in a whole new direction. Put any of these folks I've mentioned -- Sarbanes, O'Neill, O'Neill, Wellstone (fine, we'll skip Wellstone) -- into the Number Two slot on the Democratic side, and the two tickets, Democrats first, Republicans next, would suddenly have read as follows: John. Paul. George. Ringo. That's right -- we could have had an All-Beatles Ballot! There's never been anything like it! There might never be anything like it ever again! But for just a moment, with the planets aligned and -- OK. So we're a bit off on the Ringo part. Even if Kerry had picked a Paul, the two tickets would actually have read John, Paul, George -- and Dick. Dick Cheney, that is, the president's Number Two. (Or is it the other way around?) Dick Cheney, whose given name is actually Richard. Which still isn't Ringo. Would that have been a problem? It would not have been a problem. Why? Because somebody else's given name is also actually Richard, and not Ringo. A certain Richard Starkey, who only later, with a slightly modified moniker, went on to fame and fortune as the Beatles' drummer. If Richard Starkey can become Ringo Starr, why couldn't Richard Cheney have become Ringo Chains? It wasn't even that bad a match. After all, who's been banging the war drums any harder than His Veepness? Who's been beating on the media? Who's been out on the stump pounding on the Democrats? I was simply thinking aloud, you understand. Nobody said the 2004 presidential election was obliged to morph into some bizarre echo of a Beatles reunion tour. On the other hand, nobody said it couldn't. Consider the advantages. Public attention would have skyrocketed; people who ordinarily wouldn't go near a presidential race would have tuned in by the millions. The experts are always whining about how few Americans actually participate in choosing our leaders; a John/Paul/George/Ringo matchup would have turned that around in a Liverpool minute. Just think of the demand for seats at their first debate (the Fab Forum, of course), and then multiply it by every appearance any of them would have made from now until Election Day. And it wouldn't have been just the baby boomers either; it would have been their kids, too. The Sixties are very hot right now, especially Sixties music. (I'm sure I read that somewhere.) There was never a Sixties group -- or any group -- half as big, half as influential, as the Beatles. For the generations who missed it the first time around, this could have been the closest they'll ever get to the real thing. And that's exactly how close all of us were, young and old alike, to having it happen: very. We were just one candidate away. It could have been a ticket to ride. Posted 7/6/04. Keep
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Rick Horowitz
