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Hardly Harry "Goblet of Fire"? What About These?By Rick Horowitz
One of the best things about those books (you know which books) is the way they make heroes out of the dorky kids -- kids who've been frightened, kids who've been bullied, even kids who wear glasses! That's a big part of this latest amazing feeding-reading frenzy. Of course, wherever there's frenzy, there's also opportunity for the unscrupulous. Throngs of frantic buyers may be grabbing up every book in sight, but that doesn't mean they're getting a good look at what they're buying. (Especially kids who wear glasses.) So watch out for the next arrivals on the best-seller list. I'm talking, of course, about the Harry Porter books. For instance: "Harry Porter and the Giblet of Fire." Danger stalks the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as Harry and his pals struggle to unravel the terrifying mystery of the flaming chicken parts. "Harry Porter and the Gimlet of Fire." Who -- or what -- is behind the puzzling appearance of the highly seasoned, sinister potion that turns Hogwarts students into lava-drooling gargoyles? There's never been a cocktail like this one! "Harry Porter and the Gantlet of Fire." Scalding-hot paddles are only a few of the mortal dangers lurking at every turn as Harry tries to escape from the Dungeons of Doubledare in time for a crucial Quidditch match against the evil forces of Lord Notsonice. "Harry Porter and the Goblin of Tyre." From the ruins of ancient Phoenicia comes an enigmatic spirit unlike any Harry has ever encountered. Does this ghostly apparition carry the key to Harry's fate, or is he just another Mediterranean cruise director? "Harry Porter and the Gobbler's Desire." A holiday dinner at Hogwarts turns suddenly lethal when the Endless Turkey decides the students are the main course! Can Harry prevent disaster? And who put the Paralyseeds in the Singing Gravy? "Harry Porter and the Gobbet Supplier." Harry and his pals have more than their fill, thank you, when pieces of raw flesh start raining from the sky above Hogwarts. Who's responsible for the meat storm, and how can they stop it? It's enough to turn even a hungry boy into a vegetarian! "Harry Porter and the Gallant Attire." An outbreak of mysterious deaths puts Hogwarts on the brink of financial ruin, until the school's newest teacher chooses Harry to model a line of mass-market WizardWear. It's a dream come true for Harry -- but there's something strangely familiar about Professor Ultrasuede. "Harry Porter and the Garret of Meyer." What's that hypnotic music emanating from the two tiny rooms at the top of the latest winding staircase in Hogwarts Castle? And who's the wrinkled old man who lives up there with his mystical parrot, Klezmer? Harry and his pals are determined to find out before those eccentric little tunes drive them crazy! "Harry Porter and the Gadget for Hire." Whoever gains control of King Thingamabob's Ultimate Implement gains control of Hogwarts -- and the world beyond. Can Harry and his pals come up with the winning bid in time, or will the all-powerful doohickey go free agent? "Harry Porter and the Gamut of Ire." A mysterious spell from Professor Hormone's recipe book makes Harry suddenly unable to control his anger. He's constantly either irritated or incensed, mildly ticked or thoroughly outraged. It's never easy being a teenager, but this is all too much! And finally, don't forget... "Harry Porter and the Gambit So Dire." Pressured to capitalize on the astounding fame their wondrous deeds at Hogwarts have gained them, Harry and his pals turn over control of their identities to a multinational marketing firm. Will it mean untold fortunes for everyone involved -- or the end of the magic? Posted 7/13/00. Don't
break the spell -- come back to "Rick's" for fresh stuff twice every
week!
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Rick Horowitz