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Reality isn't pretty "Edgy" Enough for You?By Rick Horowitz (The network executives are meeting in -- what else?-- executive session....) "Good morning, J.T. What do you -- " "Get in here and close the door. I just heard the news." "'Big Brother'? Yeah, it's pretty much of a disaster -- no two ways about it." "You saw it?" "I didn't see it. I got the report. It's pretty astonishing." "He actually put a knife to her throat?" "The knife wasn't even the first thing. The first thing was a carpet sweeper. He picks up this carpet sweeper and he asks her if -- wait a minute, I've got it here -- he asks her if she'd get angry 'if I cracked you over the head with this.'" "And what did she say?" "She didn't say a thing. They just kept kissing." "Kissing?!" "Yeah, how weird is that? While this whole thing is going on, they're kissing." "So then what?" "So then she doesn't say anything about the carpet sweeper and they're still kissing, so then he goes and gets this kitchen knife and he puts it to her neck, and he says, he says, 'Hang on, I'm going to slash your throat. Would you get mad if I killed you?'" "'Hang on, I'm going to slash your throat'?! What kind of a sick -- " "Hey, they said they wanted to make it 'edgy' this time, didn't they? We heard them say it: 'Edgy and provocative.'" "So then what?" "After he says he's going to slash her throat? She laughs about it, and they still keep kissing!" "I don't believe it." "It's all here in the report." "And where were the producers during this whole time? They didn't stop it?" "They say they were on their feet. They say they were ready to step in." "'Ready' when? After she's bleeding all over the floor? So they didn't do anything." "Not until after. They tossed the guy off the show -- it was like the third time he'd done something bizarre. He's some bartender from Jersey, he says the thing with the knife was just his sense of humor." "Very funny." "Hysterical." "Didn't I tell you this was going to happen?" "You did, J.T. -- absolutely." "Didn't I warn you we had to be ready for something like this?" "Absolutely." "And were we ready?" "It's not that simple, J.T. We'd have to -- " "They beat us to it, didn't they? We don't have anything half as outrageous on our air, do we?" "Afraid not." "So how big a bump did they get?" "We won't know for sure for a couple of weeks. They're getting plenty of attention, but whether it translates to eyeballs, we don't know yet. We -- " "You say nobody was actually hurt?" "No, the girl's fine." "Nobody had her throat cut?" "Close, but no." "Set up a conference call with all our producers." Posted 7/18/01. Get
real with Rick twice every week -- he's no pain in the neck!
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Rick Horowitz
