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Veep, vexed In an Insecure LocationBy Rick Horowitz
You're Dick Cheney, the vice president of these United States, and you thought you'd heard it all. You're a man of intelligence, of quiet talents. It's not excitement you inspire, but reverence, born of confidence, born of excellence. And now the kid is defending your reputation?! You've been through plenty in your life, but you never expected it would come to this: the Boy President, standing there at a news conference vouching for you, telling the world he's sure it'll all turn out fine for you. "I've got great confidence in the vice president," Sonny had declared, with the president of Poland standing right nearby, keeping out of it, but wondering, surely, just when it was the planet flipped over on its head. "Doing a heck of a good job." As if you ever needed Sonny's say-so for people to think so. But it hadn't stopped there. "When I picked him," Sonny had gone on, "I knew he was a fine business leader and a fine experienced man. And he's doing a great job." You've got an ego the size of a raisin, but still the words brought you up short: "When I picked him..." When the old man made sure that Sonny was surrounded by people who knew their way around an atlas, he means. People who'd let the kid have the spotlight, but would look out for him, keep him from tripping over his feet, or his tongue. You were glad to sign on -- the old man had been good to you -- even if it meant giving up the lush life in the private sector. Not that a grateful company didn't send you back to Washington with a multi-million-dollar going-away present, and that was fair, too: You'd been good to them. Very good. Halliburton. If it hadn't been for Halliburton, none of this would be happening. When you left the place, you had the glow all around you, but you weren't gone five minutes before they started admitting how much trouble they were in. Which really left only two choices: You knew and never said and cashed out just in time, or you never even knew. Neither answer did you any favors. And now you've got the SEC on your back, looking into questionable accounting practices that kicked in while you were running things -- creative number-crunching that inflated your profits. Either you knew and approved of it, or you never even knew. And neither answer does you any favors. So here's Sonny being asked if he's confident the SEC will clear you of wrongdoing, and he says, "Yes, I am." "That matter will take -- run its course, the Halliburton investigation, and the facts will come out at some point in time." But he's confident of your integrity (or at least of your ability to escape responsibility), and exactly how good is that supposed to make you feel? Especially since Sonny is being absolutely pelted these days with questions about his own curious business dealings back in the old days, back in the oil days. Under the circumstances, does the presidential seal of approval count for anything? Or is it simply the pot calling the kettle clean? And is anyone even willing to listen? You look around you and you see the country caught in the grip of a fever, and all sorts of politicians -- from both parties! -- happy to turn up the heat. Business is evil, business leaders are worse. Throw 'em out! Throw 'em in jail! Throw 'em in jail for longer! You're Dick Cheney, the vice president of these United States, and you thought you'd heard it all. Suddenly, unbelievably, you're hunkered down in an insecure location, with the Boy President at your side, and on your side. Swell. Posted 7/18/02. You're
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Rick Horowitz
