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Energizing Cheney Let There Be Light. (Let Someone Else Pay.)By Rick Horowitz Things you have to admire about Dick Cheney: * He's smart. You get the feeling he reads the whole report, not just the executive summary. * He's articulate. Unlike certain other people who work in the White House, Dick Cheney can discuss complicated subjects in complete, coherent paragraphs without having either notes in front of him or Dick Cheney sitting across the table from him. * He's totally self-effacing. Some people are all about "me, me, me." Dick Cheney always remembers to say, "The president thinks..." or "The president feels..." even when the president, strictly speaking, isn't actually thinking or feeling much of anything. And there's something else you have to admire about Dick Cheney: * He doesn't embarrass easily. Or do you have a better explanation for this business with the electric bill? As political skills go, not embarrassing easily doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves. But given the kinds of things the average public servant has to do just to make it through the average day, it's amazing any of them can slog through a schedule without blushing crimson or diving under the covers and refusing to come out. Dick Cheney's days are far above average. And so is his electric bill -- something like $186,000 this year alone. The problem is: Dick Cheney doesn't want to pay for any of it. Not out of his own budget, anyway. He wants the Navy to pay for it all. I say it's a "problem." That's not quite accurate. Proposing that someone else pay your entire electric bill, even -- especially? -- an enormous electric bill, would definitely be a problem for someone who was prone to embarrassment. But then, someone who was prone to embarrassment would never have suggested it in the first place, right? Just consider the circumstances: You've got your vice president of the United States ensconced in a cozy little 33-room mansion on the grounds of the Naval Observatory. You've got your Congress designating a portion of the veep's official budget each year to cover part of his electric bill, with the Navy taking care of the rest. But now you've got your vice president saying, in essence, "Not good enough. Let the Navy take the entire hit." Wouldn't that be kind of embarrassing? Especially when the rest of the country is struggling to keep up with their own energy bills? And don't even think about the fact that, with the multi-multi-millions he made at his last job, Dick Cheney could pay for the whole thing -- his share and the Navy's share -- out of petty cash. The White House can explain. (That's what the White House does.) The White House directs your attention to "the fluctuating and unpredictable nature of utility costs." (You were probably aware of this already.) The White House also reminds you that "an exceptional cold winter or hot summer" could run utility costs even higher. (Likewise.) If that happened, the White House points out, it would have to go to Congress and ask for more money for the vice president's budget anyhow -- so why not do something about it now? Something like: Stick someone else with the bill. The White House also claims that the idea didn't even start with this administration, that the Clinton team was considering doing the very same thing. Maybe so. Then again, the new folks haven't hesitated to toss all sorts of other Clinton proposals right into the trash. This one was different, though. This one they liked. Although you might not have known it from the veep's very own words not that long ago. "If you want to leave all the lights on in your house, you can," said Dick Cheney. "There's no law against it. But you will pay for it." Or most of us will. How embarrassing. If you were the sort who's easily embarrassed. Posted 7/19/01. It's
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Rick Horowitz
