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Love your goals! Uncle Sam, Party of OneBy Rick Horowitz
"...and we'll have more details for you once the president's schedule is firmed up. I think that covers everything, so let me open it up for some questions. Jim?" "Ari, the report of the Kumquat Working Group -- the word from Geneva is that a draft report is being circulated this week for final comments. Has the president decided whether he can support it in its current form, and if so, when will he be announcing his position?" "Well, Jim, I don't want to get out ahead of the president on this one, but let me say this: As you know, the president thinks that the whole issue of overripe kumquats is a very important one. During the campaign, you'll recall, Gov. Bush spoke out quite often -- and quite movingly, if I can editorialize a bit here -- about the dangers of overripe kumquats, and the need to make sure that only healthy, tasty kumquats find their way into the world's fruit salads." "So he supports the Kumquat Protocol?" "He thinks it's a very important issue. He also wants to make sure that any kumquat-related measures taken by the world community will be effective measures -- that's a key consideration for him. Before he signs on to anything, he'll want to be comfortable that the solution we come up with really solves things. Yeah, Terry." "Ari, they've been negotiating this Kumquat Protocol for 13 years now. Are you saying that after all this time, the president still isn't sure this is the way to go?" "I'm saying he supports the goal of kumquat quality control, absolutely. I'm saying he still has some questions about the means. It's not like the current state of kumquat research is all that advanced, you know, and we'd hate to do anything now that we turn around two years down the road and say, 'Why did we do that?' He's just being careful, that's all." "But then why -- " "I'm just saying this president isn't about making meaningless gestures -- he's about doing things that work. Which is -- " "And the fact that 181 other countries think that this is exactly the thing that'll work?" "Kelly, they're certainly entitled to their opinions. I'm sure they're acting in what they believe is their national interest. And we're doing exactly the same." "But 181 to 1?" "The president is comfortable with that, if that's what it turns out to be. He doesn't govern by polls, you know -- he does what he thinks is best for the American people." "Ari, some of the domestic kumquat growers, they've been complaining about this protocol. How much did that factor into the president's thinking?" "If you're asking me whether the president thinks it's appropriate to make sure that the fate of our own kumquat industry doesn't suddenly rest in the hands of some international kumquat cartel, of course he does. But is that -- " "Even if it puts American kumquat consumers at greater risk?" "Let me finish. But is that his only consideration? Of course not. He just happens to feel, considering everything, that this Kumquat Protocol is fatally flawed. Which is why he's told our people to go back to the drawing board and come up with some alternative approaches." "Ari, will this be before or after you come up with your alternative approaches to global warming?" "I think we'll probably work on both at the same time." "And your alternative approaches to germ warfare?" "Same thing." "And your alternative approaches to..." Posted 7/26/01. There's
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Rick Horowitz
