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On-the-job training Experience? It's Overrated!By Rick Horowitz Click. " -- and a center-lane fender bender half a mile from where it merges with the 405 -- stay to the right. That's it for now -- more traffic and weather on the 8s. Back to you, Andy!" "Pretty much a mess out there, LaTisha -- so what else is new? It's 11 minutes past the hour here at Chatterbox Radio 640, the Golden State's home for gold-plated talk, which means it's time to 'Dial an Expert.' You've got a problem? We've got the people to solve it for you, right here at 1-800-KWIKFIX. Our first call is from Lenore in San Bernardino. Good morning, Lenore -- how are you doing?" "Good morning, Andy. Not so well, to be honest with you. I've had this toothache the past couple of days, it feels like somebody's ringing a big old gong in my head! The thing is, I just moved out here a couple of months ago and I don't really know my way around yet, so I -- " "You're hoping we can hook you up with a good dentist." "Actually, I was thinking an electrician." "An electrician." "With a nice sense of humor." "I get it! You're not looking to lose your toothache, you're just looking to take your mind off it for a while." "No, I definitely want to lose it. I just figured electricians know what they're doing, so it shouldn't be any big deal." "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer -- " "And a sense of humor would definitely be a bonus." "A funny electrician -- you're the boss, Lenore. Why don't you stay on the line, and our Chatterbox elves will see what kind of names they can dig up for you. Thanks for calling. You're listening to Chatterbox 640, where California comes for help. We've got Earl on a car phone from Reseda -- how's it going, Earl?" "Pretty good, Andy -- thanks!" "What can we do for you this morning?" "Well, I think I've got termites. Last couple of months, I've been noticing all this brown powder kind of stuff along the walls, especially in the basement. And then yesterday, our dog was going outside to do his business, and he fell right through the front steps!" "Big dog?" "For a Chihuahua." "Not so big, then. Sounds like you need a pest-control guy, and then maybe somebody to rebuild those steps of yours. So -- " "Do you have any guitarists? I figure a guitarist could get rid of my termites just like that." "Kind of a Pied Piper thing? That's cool. But -- " "And for the steps, too. I always say, 'You want to fix a house, you'd better get a guitarist.'" "I never heard that, but hey -- that's why people love California, am I right? Hang on a minute, Earl, and the elves'll get you all the guitarist numbers you need. Happy strumming!" "Thanks, Andy! You're the -- " "Oops! Anyway, you're still listening to Chatterbox Radio -- 1-800-KWIKFIX. Let's take another call -- it's Ty in Vacaville. How's it going, Ty?" "It's goin' terrible, Andy! I've been laid off for six months now. I've run through all my savings and maxed out all my credit cards. My kids are totally out of control, and my wife just walked out on me. Andy, I'm at the end of my rope!" "Ty, that's awful! Where do you want to start? A therapist? A family counselor? A financial adviser?" "Do you have any actors?" Click. Posted 8/12/03. Rick
knows silly when he sees it. Keep up with the latest foolishness twice
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Rick Horowitz
