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That sinking feeling The Russian Response: Substandard?By Rick Horowitz
MEMORANDUM Congratulations and felicitations, comrades! We are exceedingly comfortable with once again addressing you as "comrades," as in the glorious days of fond and recent memory, for what other comparison can be brought to mind? The means and modalities by which the Russian government has dealt with certain unfortunate events concerning the Northern Fleet have been most effective in awakening these memories. Already the world begins to look upon Russia once more with esteem, as in Soviet times. We refrain from declaring, "We told you so." Nonetheless, it should by now be clear that the desired results were achieved by following our expertly conceived "public-relations" plan. We shall review: Step No. 1: Upon onset of crisis, make certain that initial public comments are belated, and also inaccurate. As is well known, the sinking of submarine Kursk occurred on Saturday, 12 August. Yet you disclosed this incident only on Monday, 14 August, and stated at that time that the sinking had occurred on Sunday, 13 August, a full day later than warranted by facts already known to you. This is excellent! These first comments were of great value in establishing an appropriate standard of veracity for all subsequent statements. Step No. 2: Minimize the extent of the problem. By stating at early stages that the difficulties with submarine Kursk were "technical faults" only, and by stating as well that there was no damage to the hull of submarine Kursk, you allowed optimism to prevail for some helpful period of time. Likewise, your comments that radio contact had been maintained with the crew of submarine Kursk, and that electrical power and oxygen were being provided by surface ships in proximity, achieved -- though technically contrary to fact -- the desired effect. Step No. 3: Decline the help of foreign nations. What most exemplified the Soviet Union as a superpower was the ability to "go it alone." Similarly, your own firm rejection, at critical stages, of offers of assistance from foreign powers made clear to one and all your confidence in the brave and talented Russian navy. That help for the crew of submarine Kursk was thereby delayed for days was a small price to pay for delivering this important message to the world. Step No. 4: Tell the families nothing. As there was little to be gained by upsetting relatives of the crew of submarine Kursk with negative developments, there was little reason to keep such people informed in a timely manner. It was sufficient instead to order such people not to speak of the incident. Step No. 5: Offer constantly changing assessments. By stating in succession that enough oxygen existed for the crew of submarine Kursk to survive for only days, or for one week, or even for several weeks, you calmed those who worried with each passing hour that initial reliance on Russian efforts alone could have the direst of consequences. Likewise, by asserting in later stages that the crew of submarine Kursk had in fact been dead since the earliest minutes, you calmed those who were angered that these delays had in fact been consequential. While such comments were inconsistent, or even contradictory, they were highly useful. Bringing us lastly to the following: Step No. 6: Enjoy your vacation. Would a Soviet leader have forgone the pleasures of the Black Sea to journey to Murmansk for no purpose? It is unthinkable. So, too, was it here. Comrades, dramatic gestures and outbursts of candor we have left to other nations. Our leaders are above all practical and logical. This is what the Russian people, and also the world, expect of you. This is what the Russian people, and also the world, most respect in you. And has it not worked wonderfully so far? We await your next assignment. Posted 8/22/00. And
we await your next visit. Fresh stuff right here twice weekly!
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Rick Horowitz