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Bushspeak Tongue-tied in TexasBy Rick Horowitz (In the bunker down in Austin...) "...if he needs his own pillow, he should have his -- Governor! We were just talking about you! Get a good night's sleep? How are you feeling this morning?" "I've been better." "If I may, Governor, we all knew the numbers would tighten up after their convention. So this isn't really a -- " "A bounce is one thing, but this guy went up like a trampoline! Like a kangaroo!" "Even so, Governor -- " "A kan-Gore-oo! He went up like a kan-Gore-oo!" "See? At least you're able to joke about it." "I'm not joking. I'm supposed to be ahead, you guys. I like being ahead. I don't like being behind. We've got billions of Americans out there who don't like it either." "You mean 'millions of Americans,' of course, don't you? There aren't -- " "And how come everyone's suddenly picking over every word I say? I can't get a single word wrong without the media making some holy big deal about it. Like they never mispronounced some word?" "Governor, you have to ignore them. They're so desperate to have a competitive race to write about, they're just looking for ways to tear you down and build the other guy up for a while. Give it a couple of weeks, and -- " "So I said 'terrors' instead of 'tariffs.' You think I don't know the difference between 'terrors' and 'tariffs'?" "Of course you do. Just like you know the difference between 'hostile' and 'hostage.' Just like you know Clinton and Gore have been in office for eight years, not just four." "And that's another thing: numbers! Every time I mess up some little number, like with this tax-cut business, they're all over me. What's so hard to understand? I'm proposing a tax cut of one-point-something billion -- " "Trillion." " -- trillion dollars, and the rest of the budget is going up by three-point-something billion -- " "Trillion." " -- dollars, which is bigger than what you would otherwise already have on top of that, so when you take away all those other things plus the surplus, and divide by..." "Governor?" "...something else..." "Governor? I think you're starting to get tangled again. Maybe if we -- " "People don't even care about the details! They want to know what's in my heart -- that's what they care about." "You're absolutely right: It's your heart that matters -- as long as your tongue doesn't get in the way. After all, the tax cut is the centerpiece of your campaign. If you can't -- " "What if we did what Gore did? You know, when he said how he might not always be the most exciting politician? What if I said I might not always be the most...the most..." "Articulate?" "...the most articulate politician. Would that work?" "Maybe so. But we still have to find some comfortable way for you to explain your basic positions. Some way that -- " "I've got it!" "Let's hear it." "'Taxes, bad. Tax cuts, good!'" "It's got possibilities." Posted 8/24/00. Rick's
column, very good! Tell your friends and neighbors.
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Rick Horowitz