 |
It's around here somewhere Pick a Number. Any Number.By Rick Horowitz
Being the patriotic American I so proudly and obviously am, I've been doing my part lately to keep the economy afloat: a new shirt and tie (on sale), a new pair of pants (ditto), a new book (paperback), a bunch of new CDs (the music kind, not the money kind). I've read all the stories; I know that consumer spending is pretty much the only bit of juice still left in the old economic battery, the only thing keeping us from tumbling right into a recession. And I'm glad to do what I can to help. But I'm thinking it's not enough. I'm thinking I should do more. Which is why I've been looking for the missing surplus. Don't get me wrong; I haven't made it a full-time thing. I still have to do my job. (And my shopping.) But the past few days -- ever since the Congressional Budget Office came out with its revised surplus numbers, $153 billion instead of $275 billion -- I've been sending out my own little one-man search party. If the CBO is right, there's $122 billion of surplus that was there just a few months ago and isn't there anymore. I figure it's worth a look. So far I've been all through the basement, and as soon as I have a few minutes I'll start on the living room. To be honest with you, I can't imagine I'll find $122 billion of vanished surplus in the living room, but if I'm going to look for it, I'm going to be thorough, and that means checking the unlikely places as well as the likely places. You'd think President Bush would figure it's worth a look, too, but he doesn't seem all that concerned about it. I remember one time my bank statement said I had $600 less than I thought I had. It really got me upset, and $600 is nothing compared to $122 billion -- although given the size of my total economy, it wasn't exactly peanuts either. Anyway, President Bush was saying the other day how it's "incredibly positive news" that the surplus has fallen so quickly, which I thought was an interesting way to look at it, especially since he's also saying how he's "deeply worried" about the state of the economy, and next to his big tax-cut package, the miserable state of the economy is the major reason the surplus is down by so much so soon. But the president isn't losing any sleep over it. The White House's own budget folks recently insisted (after some creative accounting, needless to say) that there was still just enough ordinary surplus left in the budget to keep from having to dip into the Social Security surplus, which the president had promised never ever to do. And if somebody did stick a slippery hand into the cookie jar anyhow? Well, they said, that would be the fault of those free-spending Democrats in Congress. It all sounded to me like a guy who'd drive his truck right to the edge of a cliff, leave it there with the front wheels spinning in space, and then say that if it ever went over the side, it was entirely somebody else's doing -- a neat trick if he could make it stick. Except, of course, that now the White House is hinting that the president himself might have to dip into the Social Security surplus to pay for some of the big-ticket items he wants -- but that would be OK, because protecting the Social Security surplus was only a "symbolic goal," and anyway, the economy started to slow down last year when there was a Democrat in the White House, so don't blame us. I wish my conscience flushed itself clean as easily as the president's does. See, here's my problem: It was back in May that the CBO said the surplus would be way up at $275 billion, right? And where was I for part of May? I was right there. In Washington. You know how sometimes you stay in a hotel, and you check out and get home and then a while later you find out you accidentally took one of the hotel's hangers with you? Or a bar of soap? It can happen -- I know it can happen. But what if I accidentally left town with $122 billion of surplus? Talk about embarrassing! On the other hand, I had absolutely nothing to do with those missing tax returns. Posted 8/30/01. Fun
with numbers, fun with letters -- "Rick's" is the place to be!
|
  |
Rick Horowitz
