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Botched ballots -- again Just in Time, a Ray of SunshineBy Rick Horowitz
Ceremonies and services all around the globe. Terrorists still hiding in dark corners, and perhaps even in plain sight. Deadlines. Demands. The growing drumbeat for war. It's depressing -- and so distressing! What you could use right about now is a little change of pace. You ask, you get. When the state of the world has you down, just consider the state of Florida. Yes indeed, ladies and gents: The Bozos are back! Take a break from the heartbreak, and return to a simpler, more innocent time. Forget bin Laden and Iraq for a minute, and set your gaze on the land of sunshine and palm trees and officials who wouldn't know how to run a decent election if you tied it up with a pretty bow and dropped it into their laps. Or maybe you should you drop it onto their heads instead. It couldn't hurt. Seems there was a primary in Florida on Tuesday -- former attorney general Janet Reno fighting it out with Tampa lawyer Bill McBride for the Democratic nomination for governor. And the winner was...? See, that's the thing. Nobody was quite sure who the winner was. And that's not just because the results were too close to call, which they were, but because -- stop me if you've heard this one -- the results were too confusing too call. Seems there were all sorts of problems in Florida with casting votes and counting votes. Voters were sent to the wrong polling places. They were told they couldn't vote because they were dead. (They weren't dead.) Poll workers didn't know how to turn on the new high-tech voting machines -- assuming the poll workers showed up to begin with, which some of them didn't bother to do. And even when living and properly located voters were actually allowed to vote, some of the machines apparently didn't register their votes correctly. Meanwhile, some of the vote-tallying devices that were supposed to be inserted into the machines were lost, and others weren't sent to election headquarters when the voting was over. When Florida's governor caught wind of democracy in action, he declared a state of emergency and extended the voting by two hours. But some of the polling places never got the word and shut down at the normal time anyhow; in at least one precinct, poll workers held the door shut against those annoyingly persistent voters and cursed at them. Nice touch. Can you say "screw-up"? Welcome to the new, improved Florida voting system -- Jeb Bush, Proprietor. You may recall that our Floridian friends experienced a few glitches here and there the last time they had an election of significance. (Does the name "Chad" ring a bell?) Which is why the state spent tens of millions of dollars, and certain counties spent tens of millions more, all to make sure that Fiasco 2000 would never happen again. And it didn't. This time, it was Fiasco 2002. Fourteen of Florida's 67 counties reported voting problems. Including six of the seven counties that were sued for voting irregularities the last time around. Including -- stop me if you've heard this one -- Miami-Dade and Broward Counties. Don't the memories come flooding back? Do you think young Jeb wanted the memories to come flooding back? "It's not an embarrassment to me," the gov insists. "It should be an embarrassment to the people running elections in Miami and Broward Counties. They should be embarrassed." Maybe so, maybe no. Or maybe there's more than enough embarrassment to go around. Besides, nobody said life is fair. Brother George gets to address the nation with the Statue of Liberty shining over his shoulder. Brother Jeb gets pictures of voting machines. Florida: State of Emergency. It's got possibilities. Posted 9/16/02. Vote
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Rick Horowitz
