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And now, for something completely different... Mukasey for Attorney General?By Rick Horowitz [Inside
an oval office...] "Excuse me, Mr. President, do you have a minute for me?" "For you, Josh? Any time! I'm just lookin' at some of this stuff Greenspan's sayin' about -- " "I wouldn't worry about it, sir. He's just pushing a book." "I know he is, but still! Clinton more 'conservative' than I am? Just because he got rid of the deficit, and I -- " "He's just trying to make headlines, sir. Nothing to worry about." "Boy! You never know who your friends are, do you?" "I guess not. Speaking of which, you know that this is the attorney general's last week." "Al's a good man. It wasn't fair what they did to him." "Well, that's water under the bridge, Mr. President -- he's decided to go, and you've decided to let him. Now we've got to replace him." "And you've narrowed it down for me." "Well, we -- " "It's Ted Olson, right?"
"Actually, sir, it's not. Ted was going to be a real fight in the Senate, and frankly, I'm not sure a fight is what you need right now. Another fight, I mean." "But I like Ted!" "I know you do, sir, but we think it might make sense to go another way. Which is why we're looking really hard at Michael Mukasey." "Who?" "Michael Mukasey. That retired judge from New York? We sent his profile over with some of the others last week. Did you happen to -- ?" "I may have glanced at it. I thought it was gonna be Ted." "They said they'd block him, sir. Too much one of your people, if you get my drift. Now, with Mukasey -- " "Of course he was one of my people! That's why I wanted him! We're talkin' about the attorney general, for Pete's sake -- you can't have just anyone in there!" "Well, Mukasey's not just anyone, sir. Besides, some of us were thinking, what if we fooled them all, and went for something different?" "Kinda like a trick?" "Something like that. We were thinking, what if this time, we just went for quality?" "Well, hell! Al had all the qualities we needed! He's from Texas, I've known him forever, and he did whatever I -- " "With all respect, sir, it doesn't do us any good to -- I think we have to look ahead, and everybody's very high on this Mukasey. It's a different kind of quality. He's handled some of the major terrorism cases, and -- " "He did the blind sheik, didn't he?" "That's right. He also -- " "Is that guy really blind, or is he just pretending?" "He's also a solid conservative." "The sheik?!" "Mukasey, sir. I'm talking about Mukasey. He's tough on national security, he's a good manager -- which we could certainly use over there -- and everyone says he's brilliant." "I never know what to say to the brilliant ones." "Just be yourself, sir. You're the president -- you don't have to be brilliant." "That's right -- I don't. I forget sometimes. So you're for this guy?" "I think he may be what the department needs right now. What you need right now." "And the down side? Any down sides?" "So far, only one." "Yeah?" "Chuck Schumer likes him." Posted 9/23/07. For
award-winning commentary, click to "Rick's"!
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Rick Horowitz
