Putting spotlight first

McCain to the Rescue!

By Rick Horowitz

[In a committee room on Capitol Hill...]

"...so I think we're all on board on paragraph 8. Now, let's take another look at -- "

"OK, guys -- I'm here!"

"Hi, John. So anyway, down in paragraph 11 -- "

"No, I mean I'm here! Let's get this mess worked out!"

"Good to see you, John. But we're kind of in the middle of something?"

"The bailout."

"Exactly."

"Well, that's what I'm here for: to help you fellas work out the bailout! It's so important that I suspended my campaign to come here and get it done! I even -- "

"Yeah, we heard."

"That's leadership, fellas. That's what people want these days."

"That's nice. So anyway, gents, here in paragraph 11, I think the only thing we still have to do is -- "

"You're all tied up in knots, right?"

"Not really."

"Can't find your way to a deal, right?"

"Actually, John, we're making plenty of progress. At least we were. Until we were interrupted."

"I understand, fellas."

"Good. Well, then -- "

"You need somebody with experience to guide you through."

"Right. Thanks."

"Somebody who knows how to put together a deal."

"Right. Thanks."

"Somebody who can work across the aisle."

"Right. Anyway -- "

"That's my specialty! That's what I'm famous for! You just let me sit down for a few minutes with my good friends Chris and Bernie -- "

"Barney."

"Whatever. You just let me sit down with them, and we'll hammer something out in no time!"

"We've got it under control, John. You know, we've all been working on this thing for days."

"I hear you."

"Good."

"I understand completely."

"Great. So back to paragraph -- "

"Is he here yet?"

"Is who here yet?"

"Obama."

"Not yet."

"See? I'm putting 'Country First' first! That's real leadership!"

"So you said."

"Not like some other people who are always politicizing."

"Fine."

"Never mind what the polls say."

"Got it. Now, if the rest of us can get back to this compensation provision. One final tweak and we're definitely over the hump."

"Hey, I know! What if we -- ?"

"We've already taken care of it, John."

"Well, how about -- ?"

"Covered."

"Even if -- ?"

"Done."

"But -- "

"Done."

"Look, fellas, I'm running for president! I'm trying to show some bold leadership here! Can't I do anything to help?"

"Well, there is something you can do."

"Name it."

"Can you bring us some sandwiches?"

Posted 9/26/08. For politics, policies and plenty of prickly personalities -- click to "Rick's"!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

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