Pet peeve

Till the Last Dog Dies

By Rick Horowitz

"I will not withdraw even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me."
President Bush, as quoted in Bob Woodward's new book, "State of Denial"

WASHINGTON, ANY MINUTE NOW -- The Bush White House, already on the defensive about its policy in Iraq, suffered another damaging blow today with the apparent emergence of a new critic within the president's inner circle.

Barney, the president's popular Scottish terrier and ranking White House pet, is said by senior administration officials to have "serious concerns" about Mr. Bush's Iraq strategy, and about the spiraling level of violence in that country. Sources close to the canine report that, while Barney has still not given up all hope of a successful outcome in Iraq, he is far from the optimistic cheerleader he is often portrayed as being.

"Of course he's loyal -- he's a dog," explained one official, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the issue. "But there comes a point when it's too much even for him to swallow."

The publicity surrounding the release of Bob Woodward's latest book, "State of Denial," may have motivated Barney to take steps to distance himself from Mr. Bush. In the book, the president is reported as telling key Republicans that he won't withdraw from Iraq even if support for his approach ultimately dwindles to just two administration stalwarts: Barney and First Lady Laura Bush.

It remained unclear today what impact, if any, Barney's new stance might have on the president's pledge.

Barney is said to be particularly upset with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, holding him largely responsible, along with Vice President Dick Cheney, for leading Mr. Bush astray in Iraq. Mr. Rumsfeld, Barney is said to believe, went to war with a flawed strategy, and has been far too slow to adjust to changing conditions on the ground in Baghdad and elsewhere. Mr. Rumsfeld also kicks Barney in the ribs when the president isn't looking, these sources say. (Officials close to Mr. Rumsfeld denied the charge, and insisted that any contact between the secretary and the terrier was "incidental, and entirely accidental.")

Whether Barney's decision to stray from the president's side, if only metaphorically, will affect his status at the White House is yet to be determined. The New Jersey-born six-year old still maintains a high profile on the White House website, for instance, including a page all his own -- featuring a biography, photographs and links to "Barney's Films" -- on the portion of the site set aside for children. Any attempt to downgrade the dog could leave the president vulnerable to defections from his crucial "tween" constituency.

Still, for a president who vastly prefers presenting a united front regardless of the issue, the thought of providing a continuing platform to a dissenter, no matter how soft and cuddly, must be troubling. For now, at least, the White House approach seems to be to downplay the conflict.

"That dog won't hunt," said White House press secretary Tony Snow at his morning briefing. "If Barney has any doubts -- and I don't know where these stories are coming from -- I can assure you he hasn't said a word to the president about Iraq or anything else."

But White House insiders say that Barney has found other ways of communicating his feelings. Several pointed to an incident last month when the president, having just completed a read-through of an upcoming speech on "staying the course" in Iraq, turned to Barney and jokingly asked him how he liked it.

"That dog had an 'accident' right on the Oval Office rug," one insider recalled. "Only it wasn't an accident."

The White House press office refused to confirm or deny the accuracy of the story, releasing a statement this afternoon that simply said, "Barney remains the president's good and true friend. Like many pets in high-stress positions, Barney occasionally experiences digestive issues."

Mrs. Bush's office declined to comment.

Posted 10/4/06. Keep up with all the news (real or imagined) from syndicated columnist Rick Horowitz!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker.

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