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Who likes Republicans? Bush Bashes His OwnBy Rick Horowitz
"After you hit a dog, you pet it." Adviser to George W. Bush, on Bush's recent remarks about Republicans. "Honeys, I'm home! How's my brain trust this morning?" "Governor -- welcome back! We've all been waiting for you. So you liked New York?" "New York? It's a helluva town." "The Bronx is up and the Battery's down?" "Huh?" "It's a song, Governor." "Whatever. So: What do you affordably-priced strategists have up your sleeves this time? Did I do everything you wanted me to? I tell you, I never ate so much pizza in all my -- " "You were terrific, Governor!" "You were perfect!" "You really stuck it to 'em!" "Hey, that was the idea, right? Pound on those Republicans?" "Those congressional Republicans, Governor. Doesn't hurt you a bit to pound on congressional Republicans." "I gotta admit, I enjoyed saying that Gomorrah thing: `Too often, on social issues, my party has painted an image of America slouching toward Gomorrah.' And even that other part: `Too often, my party has focused on the national economy to the exclusion of all else -- '" "` -- speaking a sterile language of rates and numbers, CBO and GNP.' Great stuff, Governor! It wasn't quite as bite-worthy as `balancing the budget on the backs of the poor,' but it still polled really strong with independents and moderates, and that's the whole ballgame." "That limited-government thing I said seemed to go over pretty well, too. `Too often, my party has confused the need for limited government with a disdain for government itself.' You could hear those boys squealing up on Capitol Hill, though, couldn't you?" "They'll get over it. They need you a lot more than you need them. Besides, you said one or two nice things about them the next day." "I didn't want 'em getting too upset with me. I may actually have to work with those guys." "You did fine." "But I just can't have people thinking we're all the same way. I mean, Tom DeLay yapping about how I have a lot to learn about how Congress works. He think he's still in the pest-control business? I ain't one of his rodents!" "You did fine. You definitely want to keep some distance between yourself and that crew." "I mean, just look at the way they let themselves get outmaneuvered on the budget every year -- they do the same fool thing every time, and Clinton has 'em for lunch!" "They never learn." "Exactly! They never learn. That's what I could say: `Too often, my party seems to forget that when it comes to...whatever.'" "It's got possibilities. We don't want to go overboard, of course, but it's got -- " "What a bunch of losers! I mean, look at who's running the show up there: exterminators, rinky-dink college professors, high school wrestling coaches. There isn't a one of 'em knows how to smile and legislate at the same time!" "Governor, we don't -- " "No wonder nobody likes 'em! The Democrats are right! Let's pound on 'em again! Let's really -- " "Governor!" "What?" "This is an election strategy. Bashing other Republicans is just a way of getting you from here to the White House. You don't really have to hate them." "I knew that." "Just so we're clear." "They sure make it easy, though." Posted 10/7/99. And
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Rick Horowitz