Molto Sacramento

Open Up That Golden Gate?

By Rick Horowitz

Collie-fornia, here he comes,
Wave those flags and beat those drums,
He's grinning, he's winning,
Ev'rything's fine,
Gray Davis
Can't save us,
Had enough?
Let's go for buff!
The big tan man is standing tall,
Large enough to do it all,
Ah-nuld wins the casting call,
Collie-fornia, here he comes.

Collie-fornia, he's so strong,
What we've needed all along,
A striver, with Shriver
Right at his side,
He's flowered,
Star-powered,
We're just thrilled --
A body builder!
Watch him trim that def-i-cit,
Watch him fill that money pit,
Ah-nuld is the perfect fit,
Collie-fornia, he's so strong.

Collie-fornia, we don't care
Who he touched and when and where,
Old stories, old glories,
We like his style,
He's gropeful,
We're hopeful
He's matured --
We've been assured
Those sun-crazed days are in the past,
Pumping hard and living fast,
Now he's strictly upper-classed,
Collie-fornia, we don't care.

Collie-fornia, not a clue
What the guy is gonna do,
Can't fudge it, the budget's
Out of control,
It's growing,
We're owing,
Fix it now!
(We don't care how.)
So sure, cut -- but
Just not on me,
I'm as lean as I can be,
I deserve a spending spree!
Collie-fornia, not a clue.

Collie-fornia, fill our dreams,
Find some old accounting schemes,
Just do it, get to it,
Make it OK,
Don't fail us,
Don't nail us,
See ya later, Terminator!
Fear our power and treat us nice,
Or we'll make you pay the price,
Did it once, we'll do it twice --
Collie-fornia,
Collie-fornia,
Collie-fornia, fill...our...dreams!!

Posted 10/9/03. Rick waxes lyrical (well, verbal) twice every week right here -- join the chorus!

Rick Horowitz is a syndicated columnist, TV commentator, writing coach and public speaker

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